The Dorm is not totally exclusive to the 4 of us. There are a wide variety of "associates" and a very few honorary members. In order to become an honorary member, one must meet stringent requirements, like staying over night with us, drinking with us, sharing all their secrets and cooking for us! Bringing dark chocolate as the hostess gift pushes it over the top!
Anyway, we had a new honorary member a few weeks ago, and I got permission to share her experience with the "friends with benefits" concept. I think she's really onto something!
Linny was divorced and had had a very tough few years. We had told her for a long time that she had not been treated well and deserved better, urging her to leave, but people make their moves in their own time. Anyway, while she was beginning to get back on her feet and feel more optimism about life, she had still lost all confidence in her ability to ever have a romantic relationship again.
So a few weeks ago, she had plans to meet with a long time business associate who was coming to NY. They had always liked each other, on the very most professional level. He had business in town and wanted to catch up over dinner. Innocent enough...
Well, apparently they had a wonderful time, comparing their experiences over the years and in the process of laughing more than either of them had in awhile, Linny started to feel something very unusual. It was after they confessed that neither of them had had any sex or love in their life for 5+ years that the idea took hold. One test kiss indicated that there was more than adequate chemistry. So, as you can guess, they made a very practical decision to end their mutual drought....
As Linney gazes out over the dining room table with a big sigh and a lovesick look in her eyes, we all say: "GO ON! GO ON!..."
She said "well if that was good sex, then I must have never had anything like it before! It was WONDERFULLLLL... We knew she must really like him because she wouldn't give us more details, but she did say. He is my new BEST friend. I couldn't be more grateful if he had give me a kidney!
We were really happy for her! She hadn't looked so relaxed in years...
So here's the news flash: it's big world out there and as we try to make our way without any more humiliation or failure than necessary, sometimes all you really need is a little help from your friends.
Meredith
October 16, 2011
September 21, 2011
Dorm Update
Anna had a BIG birthday last month which now spreads the age range of the Dorm residents to 5 decades. Who would believe it??? None of us look a day over 49. And Clair is clearly 20 something (and making the most of it, I might add).
Speaking of which, is it a NY thing or a youth thing to go out at 11 to begin your evening? I guess in a small town where I grew up, 11 was curfew and if found walking the streets after 12 ( because everything closed by 12) Chief Merle Heffelman would pick you up, take you home in his squad car and wake your parents up to witness your shame. Of course, back in the day, shame was nothing compared to the "Wrath of MOM". Besides a good dose of corporal communication, the chores and punishments alone were enough to make you want to volunteer for Vietnam! How things have changed!
We are so proud of Claire! She has managed to balance an active social life with school an still win an impressive internship with the best fashion design name in the industry! Ahhhh! To be all that and young, too!
Ruby's move is almost complete, so when she moves to her dream house, we'll see where the Dorm and NY fit in .
Anna's apartment is still for sale. We both fear and anticipate every new showing. We want for her to sell and move on to what she needs ( but in the end it IS all about us. What will we do without the dorm????)...thus the fear part.
I'm moving on, as my divorce is final and I'm still friends with my ex, but beginning to more fully appreciate being an X. Our relationship had become toxic for us both. I actually met a nice man on-line, and have been absolutely amazed at how touched I am by someone being kind and attentive. I'm still ALIVE in there! WOHOO! Who knew?!!!
So as we all anxiously await the next chapter, it is with great hopes for the future, having the solid support of great friends!
Hug a friend today!
Meredith
Speaking of which, is it a NY thing or a youth thing to go out at 11 to begin your evening? I guess in a small town where I grew up, 11 was curfew and if found walking the streets after 12 ( because everything closed by 12) Chief Merle Heffelman would pick you up, take you home in his squad car and wake your parents up to witness your shame. Of course, back in the day, shame was nothing compared to the "Wrath of MOM". Besides a good dose of corporal communication, the chores and punishments alone were enough to make you want to volunteer for Vietnam! How things have changed!
We are so proud of Claire! She has managed to balance an active social life with school an still win an impressive internship with the best fashion design name in the industry! Ahhhh! To be all that and young, too!
Ruby's move is almost complete, so when she moves to her dream house, we'll see where the Dorm and NY fit in .
Anna's apartment is still for sale. We both fear and anticipate every new showing. We want for her to sell and move on to what she needs ( but in the end it IS all about us. What will we do without the dorm????)...thus the fear part.
I'm moving on, as my divorce is final and I'm still friends with my ex, but beginning to more fully appreciate being an X. Our relationship had become toxic for us both. I actually met a nice man on-line, and have been absolutely amazed at how touched I am by someone being kind and attentive. I'm still ALIVE in there! WOHOO! Who knew?!!!
So as we all anxiously await the next chapter, it is with great hopes for the future, having the solid support of great friends!
Hug a friend today!
Meredith
July 4, 2011
Change- if it doesn't kill you it will keep you young
What is it about human nature that makes us want the occasional change, but fear it at the same time?
Getting divorced after 26 years of marriage is quite a change. Thank God I have had my supportive friends in the dorm and in other parts of the world to have gotten me through the worst part of "processing". Losing my dream house and actually moving lock, stock and shoe racks to NYC in the next thing on the agenda to try to accept with grace (and a little wine).
Anna is about to put her coop apartment of 30 something years on the market ( so even the Dorm is about to change!)
Ruby is finalizing a move from Los Angles to the outback of Washington state, 3 hours from the nearest airport. For a city girl who still needs to work in NY, a significant challenge that comes along with her dream house.
Claire is starting her internship at Ralph Lauren and is planning to spread her wings and move out with her young friends in a communal apartment. (Who will we have to "mother"???)
I guess, whether you PLAN a major change or it sneaks up and blindsides you, getting friendly with it will help the transition. There is no point in lamenting the loss of the comfort of routine. Comfort is, after all, overrated. No one ever did anything awesome by being totally comfortable with their life.
So if DISCOMFORT is a motivator, look out world! We're heading out of our comfort zone!
If you ever wake up and realize you've had toast every morning for breakfast for the past 120 days, you could be headed for trouble!
I'm going to lose 20 pounds, start feeling beautiful again kick ass and not take names at my job and make a difference in my world! Hold me accountable. Check in again soon!
You go girls!
XXOO
Meredith
Getting divorced after 26 years of marriage is quite a change. Thank God I have had my supportive friends in the dorm and in other parts of the world to have gotten me through the worst part of "processing". Losing my dream house and actually moving lock, stock and shoe racks to NYC in the next thing on the agenda to try to accept with grace (and a little wine).
Anna is about to put her coop apartment of 30 something years on the market ( so even the Dorm is about to change!)
Ruby is finalizing a move from Los Angles to the outback of Washington state, 3 hours from the nearest airport. For a city girl who still needs to work in NY, a significant challenge that comes along with her dream house.
Claire is starting her internship at Ralph Lauren and is planning to spread her wings and move out with her young friends in a communal apartment. (Who will we have to "mother"???)
I guess, whether you PLAN a major change or it sneaks up and blindsides you, getting friendly with it will help the transition. There is no point in lamenting the loss of the comfort of routine. Comfort is, after all, overrated. No one ever did anything awesome by being totally comfortable with their life.
So if DISCOMFORT is a motivator, look out world! We're heading out of our comfort zone!
If you ever wake up and realize you've had toast every morning for breakfast for the past 120 days, you could be headed for trouble!
I'm going to lose 20 pounds, start feeling beautiful again kick ass and not take names at my job and make a difference in my world! Hold me accountable. Check in again soon!
You go girls!
XXOO
Meredith
June 13, 2011
Hellooooo....Mellow Yellow, Lemon Cello
A few weeks ago, Anna started talking about making some homemade Lemon Cello (pronounced Chello) for us. She explained that it was a very special liqueur, that is only authentic if made from scratch. She travelled to Italy at least once a year, and happened to have a stash of pure Italian grain alcohol for that purpose ( But we didn't know that at the time!) A few days later, we noticed two large bags of lemons and a few days after that, Anna introduced us to her delicious concoction. Awesome! Tastes like the best lemon drop martini ever!
I'd savor a very small glass over ice before I went to bed once in awhile. But we felt, with all the trouble she went to making this "taste of heaven" we should probably save it for special occasions.
Well, last week was one of those spontaneous occasions where dinner took an extra long time to prepare so Ruby and I had "support group" ( which is another term for Cocktail hour) ad cracked open a bottle of wine before dinner. Dinner was excellent, as always, and the three of us got into some very amusing and witty conversations . Before we knew it , bottle one was gone and Ruby, never missing a beat had our glasses filled with Bottle #2 ( BTW, we buy the large economy sized ones- better on the budget).
The conversation did get around to some pretty heavy stuff, since we're going through a wide variety of stressful situations and even crises in our lives at the Dorm ( not the least of which, my divorce). As the last drops poured out of our back-up bottle, we were just getting some good therapy going, and were trying to figure out our next move, when Anna suggested we get out the Lemon Cello.
The last thing I remember was saying "we can't do that!" (meaning we CAN'T drink liqueur after all that wine). Anna thought I didn't want to drink her special hand made recipe, but save it for guests, so she said " why not????"
That really WAS the last thing I remember. When I woke up the next morning, we were already 30 minutes late for work. I could barely see, so a quick trip to the bathroom to drink a quart of water out of the faucet, then I looked up and saw that my eyes were almost swollen shut. I woke Ruby and ( like a nightmare about waking up in Hangover 2) said " What the h... happened last night??
She fell out of bed looking quite disoriented and when she got used to the light enough to open her eyes, said
"I think we shouldn't have had Lemon Cello".
"We drank Lemon Cello??" From the other room, Anna moaned "Yep. All of it!".
Then ... "I'm SO glad you guys are alive! I thought it might have killed you."
"But why are my eyes swollen shut??"
"Oh...You had a meltdown," said Ruby. "A gut-wrenching, soulful, self-flaggelation about all the mistakes you made and how your life is a mess and it's a your fault- MELTDOWN."
But I didn't remember any of it.
"Believe me, you don't want to know... suffice it to say you should feel better for having gotten it out of your system".
But there was more stuff that needed to get out of my system, so I drank another quart of water, and searched the recesses of my memory for when I had felt this hungover in the past 30 years, and what I had done about it. OMG!
Anna later told us that Lemon Cello is made with Imported 195% proof Italian grain alcohol. Even diluted with some lemon zest and sugar, it was clearly our of our league.
We suffered through the day and at dinner that night , briefly wondered if the Betty Ford Clinic would give us a group rate...
Lesson learned.
I'd savor a very small glass over ice before I went to bed once in awhile. But we felt, with all the trouble she went to making this "taste of heaven" we should probably save it for special occasions.
Well, last week was one of those spontaneous occasions where dinner took an extra long time to prepare so Ruby and I had "support group" ( which is another term for Cocktail hour) ad cracked open a bottle of wine before dinner. Dinner was excellent, as always, and the three of us got into some very amusing and witty conversations . Before we knew it , bottle one was gone and Ruby, never missing a beat had our glasses filled with Bottle #2 ( BTW, we buy the large economy sized ones- better on the budget).
The conversation did get around to some pretty heavy stuff, since we're going through a wide variety of stressful situations and even crises in our lives at the Dorm ( not the least of which, my divorce). As the last drops poured out of our back-up bottle, we were just getting some good therapy going, and were trying to figure out our next move, when Anna suggested we get out the Lemon Cello.
The last thing I remember was saying "we can't do that!" (meaning we CAN'T drink liqueur after all that wine). Anna thought I didn't want to drink her special hand made recipe, but save it for guests, so she said " why not????"
That really WAS the last thing I remember. When I woke up the next morning, we were already 30 minutes late for work. I could barely see, so a quick trip to the bathroom to drink a quart of water out of the faucet, then I looked up and saw that my eyes were almost swollen shut. I woke Ruby and ( like a nightmare about waking up in Hangover 2) said " What the h... happened last night??
She fell out of bed looking quite disoriented and when she got used to the light enough to open her eyes, said
"I think we shouldn't have had Lemon Cello".
"We drank Lemon Cello??" From the other room, Anna moaned "Yep. All of it!".
Then ... "I'm SO glad you guys are alive! I thought it might have killed you."
"But why are my eyes swollen shut??"
"Oh...You had a meltdown," said Ruby. "A gut-wrenching, soulful, self-flaggelation about all the mistakes you made and how your life is a mess and it's a your fault- MELTDOWN."
But I didn't remember any of it.
"Believe me, you don't want to know... suffice it to say you should feel better for having gotten it out of your system".
But there was more stuff that needed to get out of my system, so I drank another quart of water, and searched the recesses of my memory for when I had felt this hungover in the past 30 years, and what I had done about it. OMG!
Anna later told us that Lemon Cello is made with Imported 195% proof Italian grain alcohol. Even diluted with some lemon zest and sugar, it was clearly our of our league.
We suffered through the day and at dinner that night , briefly wondered if the Betty Ford Clinic would give us a group rate...
Lesson learned.
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