Our very ecclectic Dorm "Family" had an equally ecclectic holiday season.
Since all of us (except Anna) are in transition..either moving, graduating, getting a new job, or new home or new status, we focused on unique experiences that did not make us long for "Christmas past".
We started in November; just "pre-season" and had a dinner party. We decided we needed a break, and what better break than a party. So Party- Break is a Fiesta Siesta, right?
The Fiesta Siesta was just what we needed! Something to look forward to something to plan and something to celebrate! We reviewed and fine tuned the menu and the guest list and before long it was here! 10 people for dinner with festive music, great food and wonderful conversation! It was exhilerating! And dessert! We had Mohito or Cranberry gelato... aren't we sophisticated???
Next stop, Thanksgiving!
Anna was here with friends. Claire and Ruby were back home with family. As the newly divorced one, I made the only rational choice: I went to Cabo!!
It was such a warm and fabulous week, I may just start a new tradition of being very non traditional on Thanksgiving! Next year, you're ALL invited to create a new tradition!
Christmas was almost upon us, and despite the tight economic conditions that all of us found ourselves in this year, Anna was somehow able to provide a lovely live tree. She and Claire managed to get it set up relatively well, considering the broken tree holder. It was ALMOST straight. While our hearts were in the right place, Ruby and I should have probably tried to correct the "lean" BEFORE we had a few glasse of wine. We worked on our backs (with very little satisfaction) for about 30 minutes under the pine needles only to make it worse.
When Anna came back she found our tree leaning in the corner. We were so humiliated that we made sure to buy a new tree holder and some ornaments to have it be Charlie Brown picture perfect the next night when Anna came in from her big date night out. We celebrated our success with chocolate!
Ok. We have modest decorations, a few sented candles and a large place to have a holiday party. Just because we had limited funds should NOT stop us from having a Christmas party. After all, we did it when we were young and single! It's called a "pot luck" brunch! All invied parties agreed. We supplied bacon, Cosmopoitan punch and good Christmas music. The gang brought other goodies and lots of hugs and laughter. We caught up and played Balderdash over group therapy and had a wonderful day!
I guess we needed to now that no matter what your circumstaces, you can find a way to bring the holidays into your "Home du jour" as well as your heart!
Happy New Year!
Make it count!
Love,
Meredith
January 2, 2012
December 4, 2011
"Landscaping" trends in the 21st century
It's Meredith again. I know I'm a blog hog, so please post a comment and ask for the rest of the gang to chime in.
Anyway, here I am looking at a momentous birthday coming up in a few days and pondering pretty much everything. One year ago, I thought I was reasonably happily married, and now I am ever so much MORE happily unattached. I'm dating and having a better time than I had 30 years ago, and learning how much more is possible for me (and for any of us) to have in our lives, if we just make it happen. It starts with caring enough about ourselves not to settle for too much less than we deserve.
But I digress...
So finding myself in a bit of a time warp on the dating scene, I decided to broach the subject of trends and etiquette in the dating world today with our youngest Dorm resident. Claire was more than happy to fill me in. Much of it had not changed that drastically (thank heavens!) Then I decided to delicately approach the subject of personal grooming. I had begun to sense from watching "Two and A Half Men" and other contemporary TV shows, that there had been some changes in...shall we say "landscaping".
My instincts were correct! She informed me that "shrubbery" was not only out of fashion, but that she and her friends didn't have any at all!
Wow! The last minimal bit of proper modesty, now gone! If I were to maintain the level of fashion awareness and sophistication in that arena that I try to achieve in my outward appearance, I'll be relegated to going back to looking like a 12 year old girl! And what if the older generation I hang out with are not up to speed on these trends when the big moment finally arrives?? Will they think I have cancer or something???
Choices, choices...
Convinced by Linney that there WAS a potential love life after 50 something I decided to try out a few new looks and see what felt right.
Hedge trimmers in hand, I began the task of baring what had been modestly, and comfortably shaded for 40+ years. HMMM...Easier said than done.
Well let me tell you, I went through 2 trimmers, terrified with each clip that I would remove more than I bargained for. Brazilian? Not enough. I finally got my shrubbery down to a finely manicured goatee. Nooo...That's weird. Keep snipping...Soul patch? Not me at all. So I kept at it until I reached pre-puberty once again.
There is only one problem.... everything else in the mirror was anything but pre-pubescent! OMG! What have I done???
Ok, get a grip. Lights would, of course be off (please tell me THAT hasn't changed!) so I need to just be brave and go with it. After all, it takes courage to wear a strapless dress doesn't it? But we do it for fashion... and I was all about THAT.
Moving on, I woke up the next morning feeling like a hip young chic all the way down to my toes! Then I got out of bed and started walking to the bathroom and noticed that it felt scratchy down there...like there was a Brillo pad in my underwear. OH NO! A bristly 5:00 shadow clinging to my VS cheeky underwear! This would never do!
Back to Claire...oh waxing! Wax..?...That? Surely you jest!
The last time I had a close bikini wax, I realized that as you get older, you skin gets less elastic, and that somehow the skin has a tendency to stay with the wax. I'm afraid it would leave scars...
Nair? Not on your life! Why did things need to be so complicated??
Eventually, I found my own style of closely manicured shrubbery enhanced by weekly deep conditioning treatments. Just like a new born kitten! If that isn't welcoming enough, I quit!
So now that "kitty-girl" and I are completely ready for the next chapter of my new life, all I have to do is to actually join e-harmony or pray for a "Friend with benefits"! Animal lovers- a must!
Life can still be exciting when you are ready for anything!
Happy Birthday to me!
Anyway, here I am looking at a momentous birthday coming up in a few days and pondering pretty much everything. One year ago, I thought I was reasonably happily married, and now I am ever so much MORE happily unattached. I'm dating and having a better time than I had 30 years ago, and learning how much more is possible for me (and for any of us) to have in our lives, if we just make it happen. It starts with caring enough about ourselves not to settle for too much less than we deserve.
But I digress...
So finding myself in a bit of a time warp on the dating scene, I decided to broach the subject of trends and etiquette in the dating world today with our youngest Dorm resident. Claire was more than happy to fill me in. Much of it had not changed that drastically (thank heavens!) Then I decided to delicately approach the subject of personal grooming. I had begun to sense from watching "Two and A Half Men" and other contemporary TV shows, that there had been some changes in...shall we say "landscaping".
My instincts were correct! She informed me that "shrubbery" was not only out of fashion, but that she and her friends didn't have any at all!
Wow! The last minimal bit of proper modesty, now gone! If I were to maintain the level of fashion awareness and sophistication in that arena that I try to achieve in my outward appearance, I'll be relegated to going back to looking like a 12 year old girl! And what if the older generation I hang out with are not up to speed on these trends when the big moment finally arrives?? Will they think I have cancer or something???
Choices, choices...
Convinced by Linney that there WAS a potential love life after 50 something I decided to try out a few new looks and see what felt right.
Hedge trimmers in hand, I began the task of baring what had been modestly, and comfortably shaded for 40+ years. HMMM...Easier said than done.
Well let me tell you, I went through 2 trimmers, terrified with each clip that I would remove more than I bargained for. Brazilian? Not enough. I finally got my shrubbery down to a finely manicured goatee. Nooo...That's weird. Keep snipping...Soul patch? Not me at all. So I kept at it until I reached pre-puberty once again.
There is only one problem.... everything else in the mirror was anything but pre-pubescent! OMG! What have I done???
Ok, get a grip. Lights would, of course be off (please tell me THAT hasn't changed!) so I need to just be brave and go with it. After all, it takes courage to wear a strapless dress doesn't it? But we do it for fashion... and I was all about THAT.
Moving on, I woke up the next morning feeling like a hip young chic all the way down to my toes! Then I got out of bed and started walking to the bathroom and noticed that it felt scratchy down there...like there was a Brillo pad in my underwear. OH NO! A bristly 5:00 shadow clinging to my VS cheeky underwear! This would never do!
Back to Claire...oh waxing! Wax..?...That? Surely you jest!
The last time I had a close bikini wax, I realized that as you get older, you skin gets less elastic, and that somehow the skin has a tendency to stay with the wax. I'm afraid it would leave scars...
Nair? Not on your life! Why did things need to be so complicated??
Eventually, I found my own style of closely manicured shrubbery enhanced by weekly deep conditioning treatments. Just like a new born kitten! If that isn't welcoming enough, I quit!
So now that "kitty-girl" and I are completely ready for the next chapter of my new life, all I have to do is to actually join e-harmony or pray for a "Friend with benefits"! Animal lovers- a must!
Life can still be exciting when you are ready for anything!
Happy Birthday to me!
November 12, 2011
Stepping outside your comfort zone
Things have been a little quiet at the Dorm, so we were glad when Linny stopped by Friday night for "Group therapy" (which is what others may call "cocktail hour") We were anxious to hear how she was feeling in the aftermath of her "friend with benefits" adventure.
"Well", she said,"I found myself eating more chocolate than ever, and desperately wanting another dose of "benefits", and as luck may have it, my new best friend came back into town again last week. I was so excited about my new found sexuality that I wanted to make the most of it. I decided that it would be really provocative if I showed up at his hotel in a trench coat and sexy underwear (and nothing else!)
Wow, this was NOT the Linney WE knew. But good for her! We would never have the guts...
"So how did THAT work for you?" we asked.
Well the first thing I had to do was to buy some underwear worthy of the venue. Mine was all pretty orthopedic looking..doing the job on the inside, but nothing much to look at. So I took a deep breath and ventured into the vast frontier of ...Victoria's Secret on Herald Square.
"OHHHH!" we said. "That was challenging! 2 stories of every kind of lace trimmed contraption that lifts, seperates, pushes up and pulls in that you could ever imagine..Where does one begin????
"I found my way to the section for women that DO NOT need the extra push up padding. They had a whole department for me. $150 later I walked our proudly with my pink VS bag, feeling like a real hot young chic from the "in"`crowd. I shopped at Victoria's Secret. I had a SEX life! After a very, very, very, long time, I had finally ARRIVED!!!!
Step 2 of Operation Hot chic was to figure out how I would manage to show up at the hotel as I had envisioned. It seemed simple enough. All I had to do was take my outer clothes off in the restroom office and get from my office to hotel in my new sexy underwear, garter belt and stockings. Well, I had not worn a garter belt since I was 14. Pantyhose were invented shortly after and I never looked back. It would be like riding a bike! But just the same, I figured I would leave the garter belt until the end of the day.
I was so anxious all day I was sliding off my chair. Counting down the hours...Then the call! He was at the airport! Then, he's at the hotel!
"Do you mind if I stop by before we go out and drop off a bag?" I asked innocently. Bingo! I was ready for the execution phase!
Bring overnight bag and leather trench coat discretely to the ladies room. I forgot how small these stalls were!
Clothes off. Garter belt on. How do these things go again? One size fits all? I don't THINK so! But I WILL make it work! They won't be on long (I hope). Carefully roll up $12 stockings with the seam in the back. Don't remember them being quite this tight at the upper thigh...whoa!That's all the higher they will go up? Well, ok. So where are the little thingies to hook them up to? Appareltly VS did not account for the more ample booty of some of the "all" that their "one size was supposed to fit, and by the time I got the hook over my ass there was at least a 3"vacume to the top of the stocking. After a few mintues of twisting turning and almost gymnastic type adjustments, I got the front one hooked. Confidence buoyed but this accomplishment, I reached around the back, only to find that on of the garters was missing. It had either become disengaged when I was struggling to connect the first one or it had come that way from the store . Ok. No way to salvage this part of the plan. I looked down at my nursing home white legs laced with spider veins and thought, "I don't care how trendy it is to go bare legged, these babies are not ready for the light of day." I'll just stop and buy panthose.
Last finishing touch, a strand of pearls. I always feel less naked with pearls! It adds a nice touch of class and will make me feel less "hookerish". Ok wrap twice...then I got them caught in my hair. Just one little tug and...the sound of a dozen or so white plastic baubbles spilling all over the restroom floor. Thank God no one else was there. Ok plan B on the pearls had to be "No pearls".
So I guess that was it. Thankfully I realized that the trench coat was a little snug this year and opened all the way up to Disneyland when I walked, so I pulled on a black skirt. But what kind of an impact would it be to take off my coat and still be partially clothed? This plan was getting watered down to the extent that maybe I should save it for later.
So as I stopped by Duane Reade and bought pantyhose, my phone was buzzing because I was now 20 minutes late. Nice. This guy flys to NY to have a date with me and I keep him waiting 20 minutes.I asked the clerk where the restroom was so I could slip on the pantyhose and be on my way. "It's just down the street at the other Duane Reade".
So I did what anyone else would do in my situation, I found what appeared to be a deserted row in the store and very discretly started putting on my pantyhose. I was on the second leg in the most compromising position when a man came around the corner. Eyes opened wide, he quickly backed up and to the next asile! At least someone got a cheap thrill tonight!
So I showed up at his door, dressed like a lady and did not surprise him at all, but it did not keep the evening from being every bit as wonderful as the first! ( and he DID appreciate the underwear eventually!)
We were happy to see Linny so happy. She tod good stories, too!
The moral of the story that we took away:
It's good to get out of your comfort zone ( especially when you are our age!) Just know your limitations!
Go for it!
Meredith
"Well", she said,"I found myself eating more chocolate than ever, and desperately wanting another dose of "benefits", and as luck may have it, my new best friend came back into town again last week. I was so excited about my new found sexuality that I wanted to make the most of it. I decided that it would be really provocative if I showed up at his hotel in a trench coat and sexy underwear (and nothing else!)
Wow, this was NOT the Linney WE knew. But good for her! We would never have the guts...
"So how did THAT work for you?" we asked.
Well the first thing I had to do was to buy some underwear worthy of the venue. Mine was all pretty orthopedic looking..doing the job on the inside, but nothing much to look at. So I took a deep breath and ventured into the vast frontier of ...Victoria's Secret on Herald Square.
"OHHHH!" we said. "That was challenging! 2 stories of every kind of lace trimmed contraption that lifts, seperates, pushes up and pulls in that you could ever imagine..Where does one begin????
"I found my way to the section for women that DO NOT need the extra push up padding. They had a whole department for me. $150 later I walked our proudly with my pink VS bag, feeling like a real hot young chic from the "in"`crowd. I shopped at Victoria's Secret. I had a SEX life! After a very, very, very, long time, I had finally ARRIVED!!!!
Step 2 of Operation Hot chic was to figure out how I would manage to show up at the hotel as I had envisioned. It seemed simple enough. All I had to do was take my outer clothes off in the restroom office and get from my office to hotel in my new sexy underwear, garter belt and stockings. Well, I had not worn a garter belt since I was 14. Pantyhose were invented shortly after and I never looked back. It would be like riding a bike! But just the same, I figured I would leave the garter belt until the end of the day.
I was so anxious all day I was sliding off my chair. Counting down the hours...Then the call! He was at the airport! Then, he's at the hotel!
"Do you mind if I stop by before we go out and drop off a bag?" I asked innocently. Bingo! I was ready for the execution phase!
Bring overnight bag and leather trench coat discretely to the ladies room. I forgot how small these stalls were!
Clothes off. Garter belt on. How do these things go again? One size fits all? I don't THINK so! But I WILL make it work! They won't be on long (I hope). Carefully roll up $12 stockings with the seam in the back. Don't remember them being quite this tight at the upper thigh...whoa!That's all the higher they will go up? Well, ok. So where are the little thingies to hook them up to? Appareltly VS did not account for the more ample booty of some of the "all" that their "one size was supposed to fit, and by the time I got the hook over my ass there was at least a 3"vacume to the top of the stocking. After a few mintues of twisting turning and almost gymnastic type adjustments, I got the front one hooked. Confidence buoyed but this accomplishment, I reached around the back, only to find that on of the garters was missing. It had either become disengaged when I was struggling to connect the first one or it had come that way from the store . Ok. No way to salvage this part of the plan. I looked down at my nursing home white legs laced with spider veins and thought, "I don't care how trendy it is to go bare legged, these babies are not ready for the light of day." I'll just stop and buy panthose.
Last finishing touch, a strand of pearls. I always feel less naked with pearls! It adds a nice touch of class and will make me feel less "hookerish". Ok wrap twice...then I got them caught in my hair. Just one little tug and...the sound of a dozen or so white plastic baubbles spilling all over the restroom floor. Thank God no one else was there. Ok plan B on the pearls had to be "No pearls".
So I guess that was it. Thankfully I realized that the trench coat was a little snug this year and opened all the way up to Disneyland when I walked, so I pulled on a black skirt. But what kind of an impact would it be to take off my coat and still be partially clothed? This plan was getting watered down to the extent that maybe I should save it for later.
So as I stopped by Duane Reade and bought pantyhose, my phone was buzzing because I was now 20 minutes late. Nice. This guy flys to NY to have a date with me and I keep him waiting 20 minutes.I asked the clerk where the restroom was so I could slip on the pantyhose and be on my way. "It's just down the street at the other Duane Reade".
So I did what anyone else would do in my situation, I found what appeared to be a deserted row in the store and very discretly started putting on my pantyhose. I was on the second leg in the most compromising position when a man came around the corner. Eyes opened wide, he quickly backed up and to the next asile! At least someone got a cheap thrill tonight!
So I showed up at his door, dressed like a lady and did not surprise him at all, but it did not keep the evening from being every bit as wonderful as the first! ( and he DID appreciate the underwear eventually!)
We were happy to see Linny so happy. She tod good stories, too!
The moral of the story that we took away:
It's good to get out of your comfort zone ( especially when you are our age!) Just know your limitations!
Go for it!
Meredith
October 16, 2011
Friends with benefits
The Dorm is not totally exclusive to the 4 of us. There are a wide variety of "associates" and a very few honorary members. In order to become an honorary member, one must meet stringent requirements, like staying over night with us, drinking with us, sharing all their secrets and cooking for us! Bringing dark chocolate as the hostess gift pushes it over the top!
Anyway, we had a new honorary member a few weeks ago, and I got permission to share her experience with the "friends with benefits" concept. I think she's really onto something!
Linny was divorced and had had a very tough few years. We had told her for a long time that she had not been treated well and deserved better, urging her to leave, but people make their moves in their own time. Anyway, while she was beginning to get back on her feet and feel more optimism about life, she had still lost all confidence in her ability to ever have a romantic relationship again.
So a few weeks ago, she had plans to meet with a long time business associate who was coming to NY. They had always liked each other, on the very most professional level. He had business in town and wanted to catch up over dinner. Innocent enough...
Well, apparently they had a wonderful time, comparing their experiences over the years and in the process of laughing more than either of them had in awhile, Linny started to feel something very unusual. It was after they confessed that neither of them had had any sex or love in their life for 5+ years that the idea took hold. One test kiss indicated that there was more than adequate chemistry. So, as you can guess, they made a very practical decision to end their mutual drought....
As Linney gazes out over the dining room table with a big sigh and a lovesick look in her eyes, we all say: "GO ON! GO ON!..."
She said "well if that was good sex, then I must have never had anything like it before! It was WONDERFULLLLL... We knew she must really like him because she wouldn't give us more details, but she did say. He is my new BEST friend. I couldn't be more grateful if he had give me a kidney!
We were really happy for her! She hadn't looked so relaxed in years...
So here's the news flash: it's big world out there and as we try to make our way without any more humiliation or failure than necessary, sometimes all you really need is a little help from your friends.
Meredith
Anyway, we had a new honorary member a few weeks ago, and I got permission to share her experience with the "friends with benefits" concept. I think she's really onto something!
Linny was divorced and had had a very tough few years. We had told her for a long time that she had not been treated well and deserved better, urging her to leave, but people make their moves in their own time. Anyway, while she was beginning to get back on her feet and feel more optimism about life, she had still lost all confidence in her ability to ever have a romantic relationship again.
So a few weeks ago, she had plans to meet with a long time business associate who was coming to NY. They had always liked each other, on the very most professional level. He had business in town and wanted to catch up over dinner. Innocent enough...
Well, apparently they had a wonderful time, comparing their experiences over the years and in the process of laughing more than either of them had in awhile, Linny started to feel something very unusual. It was after they confessed that neither of them had had any sex or love in their life for 5+ years that the idea took hold. One test kiss indicated that there was more than adequate chemistry. So, as you can guess, they made a very practical decision to end their mutual drought....
As Linney gazes out over the dining room table with a big sigh and a lovesick look in her eyes, we all say: "GO ON! GO ON!..."
She said "well if that was good sex, then I must have never had anything like it before! It was WONDERFULLLLL... We knew she must really like him because she wouldn't give us more details, but she did say. He is my new BEST friend. I couldn't be more grateful if he had give me a kidney!
We were really happy for her! She hadn't looked so relaxed in years...
So here's the news flash: it's big world out there and as we try to make our way without any more humiliation or failure than necessary, sometimes all you really need is a little help from your friends.
Meredith
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