A few weeks ago, Anna started talking about making some homemade Lemon Cello (pronounced Chello) for us. She explained that it was a very special liqueur, that is only authentic if made from scratch. She travelled to Italy at least once a year, and happened to have a stash of pure Italian grain alcohol for that purpose ( But we didn't know that at the time!) A few days later, we noticed two large bags of lemons and a few days after that, Anna introduced us to her delicious concoction. Awesome! Tastes like the best lemon drop martini ever!
I'd savor a very small glass over ice before I went to bed once in awhile. But we felt, with all the trouble she went to making this "taste of heaven" we should probably save it for special occasions.
Well, last week was one of those spontaneous occasions where dinner took an extra long time to prepare so Ruby and I had "support group" ( which is another term for Cocktail hour) ad cracked open a bottle of wine before dinner. Dinner was excellent, as always, and the three of us got into some very amusing and witty conversations . Before we knew it , bottle one was gone and Ruby, never missing a beat had our glasses filled with Bottle #2 ( BTW, we buy the large economy sized ones- better on the budget).
The conversation did get around to some pretty heavy stuff, since we're going through a wide variety of stressful situations and even crises in our lives at the Dorm ( not the least of which, my divorce). As the last drops poured out of our back-up bottle, we were just getting some good therapy going, and were trying to figure out our next move, when Anna suggested we get out the Lemon Cello.
The last thing I remember was saying "we can't do that!" (meaning we CAN'T drink liqueur after all that wine). Anna thought I didn't want to drink her special hand made recipe, but save it for guests, so she said " why not????"
That really WAS the last thing I remember. When I woke up the next morning, we were already 30 minutes late for work. I could barely see, so a quick trip to the bathroom to drink a quart of water out of the faucet, then I looked up and saw that my eyes were almost swollen shut. I woke Ruby and ( like a nightmare about waking up in Hangover 2) said " What the h... happened last night??
She fell out of bed looking quite disoriented and when she got used to the light enough to open her eyes, said
"I think we shouldn't have had Lemon Cello".
"We drank Lemon Cello??" From the other room, Anna moaned "Yep. All of it!".
Then ... "I'm SO glad you guys are alive! I thought it might have killed you."
"But why are my eyes swollen shut??"
"Oh...You had a meltdown," said Ruby. "A gut-wrenching, soulful, self-flaggelation about all the mistakes you made and how your life is a mess and it's a your fault- MELTDOWN."
But I didn't remember any of it.
"Believe me, you don't want to know... suffice it to say you should feel better for having gotten it out of your system".
But there was more stuff that needed to get out of my system, so I drank another quart of water, and searched the recesses of my memory for when I had felt this hungover in the past 30 years, and what I had done about it. OMG!
Anna later told us that Lemon Cello is made with Imported 195% proof Italian grain alcohol. Even diluted with some lemon zest and sugar, it was clearly our of our league.
We suffered through the day and at dinner that night , briefly wondered if the Betty Ford Clinic would give us a group rate...
Lesson learned.
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