It's Meredith again. I know I'm a blog hog, so please post a comment and ask for the rest of the gang to chime in.
Anyway, here I am looking at a momentous birthday coming up in a few days and pondering pretty much everything. One year ago, I thought I was reasonably happily married, and now I am ever so much MORE happily unattached. I'm dating and having a better time than I had 30 years ago, and learning how much more is possible for me (and for any of us) to have in our lives, if we just make it happen. It starts with caring enough about ourselves not to settle for too much less than we deserve.
But I digress...
So finding myself in a bit of a time warp on the dating scene, I decided to broach the subject of trends and etiquette in the dating world today with our youngest Dorm resident. Claire was more than happy to fill me in. Much of it had not changed that drastically (thank heavens!) Then I decided to delicately approach the subject of personal grooming. I had begun to sense from watching "Two and A Half Men" and other contemporary TV shows, that there had been some changes in...shall we say "landscaping".
My instincts were correct! She informed me that "shrubbery" was not only out of fashion, but that she and her friends didn't have any at all!
Wow! The last minimal bit of proper modesty, now gone! If I were to maintain the level of fashion awareness and sophistication in that arena that I try to achieve in my outward appearance, I'll be relegated to going back to looking like a 12 year old girl! And what if the older generation I hang out with are not up to speed on these trends when the big moment finally arrives?? Will they think I have cancer or something???
Choices, choices...
Convinced by Linney that there WAS a potential love life after 50 something I decided to try out a few new looks and see what felt right.
Hedge trimmers in hand, I began the task of baring what had been modestly, and comfortably shaded for 40+ years. HMMM...Easier said than done.
Well let me tell you, I went through 2 trimmers, terrified with each clip that I would remove more than I bargained for. Brazilian? Not enough. I finally got my shrubbery down to a finely manicured goatee. Nooo...That's weird. Keep snipping...Soul patch? Not me at all. So I kept at it until I reached pre-puberty once again.
There is only one problem.... everything else in the mirror was anything but pre-pubescent! OMG! What have I done???
Ok, get a grip. Lights would, of course be off (please tell me THAT hasn't changed!) so I need to just be brave and go with it. After all, it takes courage to wear a strapless dress doesn't it? But we do it for fashion... and I was all about THAT.
Moving on, I woke up the next morning feeling like a hip young chic all the way down to my toes! Then I got out of bed and started walking to the bathroom and noticed that it felt scratchy down there...like there was a Brillo pad in my underwear. OH NO! A bristly 5:00 shadow clinging to my VS cheeky underwear! This would never do!
Back to Claire...oh waxing! Wax..?...That? Surely you jest!
The last time I had a close bikini wax, I realized that as you get older, you skin gets less elastic, and that somehow the skin has a tendency to stay with the wax. I'm afraid it would leave scars...
Nair? Not on your life! Why did things need to be so complicated??
Eventually, I found my own style of closely manicured shrubbery enhanced by weekly deep conditioning treatments. Just like a new born kitten! If that isn't welcoming enough, I quit!
So now that "kitty-girl" and I are completely ready for the next chapter of my new life, all I have to do is to actually join e-harmony or pray for a "Friend with benefits"! Animal lovers- a must!
Life can still be exciting when you are ready for anything!
Happy Birthday to me!
December 4, 2011
November 12, 2011
Stepping outside your comfort zone
Things have been a little quiet at the Dorm, so we were glad when Linny stopped by Friday night for "Group therapy" (which is what others may call "cocktail hour") We were anxious to hear how she was feeling in the aftermath of her "friend with benefits" adventure.
"Well", she said,"I found myself eating more chocolate than ever, and desperately wanting another dose of "benefits", and as luck may have it, my new best friend came back into town again last week. I was so excited about my new found sexuality that I wanted to make the most of it. I decided that it would be really provocative if I showed up at his hotel in a trench coat and sexy underwear (and nothing else!)
Wow, this was NOT the Linney WE knew. But good for her! We would never have the guts...
"So how did THAT work for you?" we asked.
Well the first thing I had to do was to buy some underwear worthy of the venue. Mine was all pretty orthopedic looking..doing the job on the inside, but nothing much to look at. So I took a deep breath and ventured into the vast frontier of ...Victoria's Secret on Herald Square.
"OHHHH!" we said. "That was challenging! 2 stories of every kind of lace trimmed contraption that lifts, seperates, pushes up and pulls in that you could ever imagine..Where does one begin????
"I found my way to the section for women that DO NOT need the extra push up padding. They had a whole department for me. $150 later I walked our proudly with my pink VS bag, feeling like a real hot young chic from the "in"`crowd. I shopped at Victoria's Secret. I had a SEX life! After a very, very, very, long time, I had finally ARRIVED!!!!
Step 2 of Operation Hot chic was to figure out how I would manage to show up at the hotel as I had envisioned. It seemed simple enough. All I had to do was take my outer clothes off in the restroom office and get from my office to hotel in my new sexy underwear, garter belt and stockings. Well, I had not worn a garter belt since I was 14. Pantyhose were invented shortly after and I never looked back. It would be like riding a bike! But just the same, I figured I would leave the garter belt until the end of the day.
I was so anxious all day I was sliding off my chair. Counting down the hours...Then the call! He was at the airport! Then, he's at the hotel!
"Do you mind if I stop by before we go out and drop off a bag?" I asked innocently. Bingo! I was ready for the execution phase!
Bring overnight bag and leather trench coat discretely to the ladies room. I forgot how small these stalls were!
Clothes off. Garter belt on. How do these things go again? One size fits all? I don't THINK so! But I WILL make it work! They won't be on long (I hope). Carefully roll up $12 stockings with the seam in the back. Don't remember them being quite this tight at the upper thigh...whoa!That's all the higher they will go up? Well, ok. So where are the little thingies to hook them up to? Appareltly VS did not account for the more ample booty of some of the "all" that their "one size was supposed to fit, and by the time I got the hook over my ass there was at least a 3"vacume to the top of the stocking. After a few mintues of twisting turning and almost gymnastic type adjustments, I got the front one hooked. Confidence buoyed but this accomplishment, I reached around the back, only to find that on of the garters was missing. It had either become disengaged when I was struggling to connect the first one or it had come that way from the store . Ok. No way to salvage this part of the plan. I looked down at my nursing home white legs laced with spider veins and thought, "I don't care how trendy it is to go bare legged, these babies are not ready for the light of day." I'll just stop and buy panthose.
Last finishing touch, a strand of pearls. I always feel less naked with pearls! It adds a nice touch of class and will make me feel less "hookerish". Ok wrap twice...then I got them caught in my hair. Just one little tug and...the sound of a dozen or so white plastic baubbles spilling all over the restroom floor. Thank God no one else was there. Ok plan B on the pearls had to be "No pearls".
So I guess that was it. Thankfully I realized that the trench coat was a little snug this year and opened all the way up to Disneyland when I walked, so I pulled on a black skirt. But what kind of an impact would it be to take off my coat and still be partially clothed? This plan was getting watered down to the extent that maybe I should save it for later.
So as I stopped by Duane Reade and bought pantyhose, my phone was buzzing because I was now 20 minutes late. Nice. This guy flys to NY to have a date with me and I keep him waiting 20 minutes.I asked the clerk where the restroom was so I could slip on the pantyhose and be on my way. "It's just down the street at the other Duane Reade".
So I did what anyone else would do in my situation, I found what appeared to be a deserted row in the store and very discretly started putting on my pantyhose. I was on the second leg in the most compromising position when a man came around the corner. Eyes opened wide, he quickly backed up and to the next asile! At least someone got a cheap thrill tonight!
So I showed up at his door, dressed like a lady and did not surprise him at all, but it did not keep the evening from being every bit as wonderful as the first! ( and he DID appreciate the underwear eventually!)
We were happy to see Linny so happy. She tod good stories, too!
The moral of the story that we took away:
It's good to get out of your comfort zone ( especially when you are our age!) Just know your limitations!
Go for it!
Meredith
"Well", she said,"I found myself eating more chocolate than ever, and desperately wanting another dose of "benefits", and as luck may have it, my new best friend came back into town again last week. I was so excited about my new found sexuality that I wanted to make the most of it. I decided that it would be really provocative if I showed up at his hotel in a trench coat and sexy underwear (and nothing else!)
Wow, this was NOT the Linney WE knew. But good for her! We would never have the guts...
"So how did THAT work for you?" we asked.
Well the first thing I had to do was to buy some underwear worthy of the venue. Mine was all pretty orthopedic looking..doing the job on the inside, but nothing much to look at. So I took a deep breath and ventured into the vast frontier of ...Victoria's Secret on Herald Square.
"OHHHH!" we said. "That was challenging! 2 stories of every kind of lace trimmed contraption that lifts, seperates, pushes up and pulls in that you could ever imagine..Where does one begin????
"I found my way to the section for women that DO NOT need the extra push up padding. They had a whole department for me. $150 later I walked our proudly with my pink VS bag, feeling like a real hot young chic from the "in"`crowd. I shopped at Victoria's Secret. I had a SEX life! After a very, very, very, long time, I had finally ARRIVED!!!!
Step 2 of Operation Hot chic was to figure out how I would manage to show up at the hotel as I had envisioned. It seemed simple enough. All I had to do was take my outer clothes off in the restroom office and get from my office to hotel in my new sexy underwear, garter belt and stockings. Well, I had not worn a garter belt since I was 14. Pantyhose were invented shortly after and I never looked back. It would be like riding a bike! But just the same, I figured I would leave the garter belt until the end of the day.
I was so anxious all day I was sliding off my chair. Counting down the hours...Then the call! He was at the airport! Then, he's at the hotel!
"Do you mind if I stop by before we go out and drop off a bag?" I asked innocently. Bingo! I was ready for the execution phase!
Bring overnight bag and leather trench coat discretely to the ladies room. I forgot how small these stalls were!
Clothes off. Garter belt on. How do these things go again? One size fits all? I don't THINK so! But I WILL make it work! They won't be on long (I hope). Carefully roll up $12 stockings with the seam in the back. Don't remember them being quite this tight at the upper thigh...whoa!That's all the higher they will go up? Well, ok. So where are the little thingies to hook them up to? Appareltly VS did not account for the more ample booty of some of the "all" that their "one size was supposed to fit, and by the time I got the hook over my ass there was at least a 3"vacume to the top of the stocking. After a few mintues of twisting turning and almost gymnastic type adjustments, I got the front one hooked. Confidence buoyed but this accomplishment, I reached around the back, only to find that on of the garters was missing. It had either become disengaged when I was struggling to connect the first one or it had come that way from the store . Ok. No way to salvage this part of the plan. I looked down at my nursing home white legs laced with spider veins and thought, "I don't care how trendy it is to go bare legged, these babies are not ready for the light of day." I'll just stop and buy panthose.
Last finishing touch, a strand of pearls. I always feel less naked with pearls! It adds a nice touch of class and will make me feel less "hookerish". Ok wrap twice...then I got them caught in my hair. Just one little tug and...the sound of a dozen or so white plastic baubbles spilling all over the restroom floor. Thank God no one else was there. Ok plan B on the pearls had to be "No pearls".
So I guess that was it. Thankfully I realized that the trench coat was a little snug this year and opened all the way up to Disneyland when I walked, so I pulled on a black skirt. But what kind of an impact would it be to take off my coat and still be partially clothed? This plan was getting watered down to the extent that maybe I should save it for later.
So as I stopped by Duane Reade and bought pantyhose, my phone was buzzing because I was now 20 minutes late. Nice. This guy flys to NY to have a date with me and I keep him waiting 20 minutes.I asked the clerk where the restroom was so I could slip on the pantyhose and be on my way. "It's just down the street at the other Duane Reade".
So I did what anyone else would do in my situation, I found what appeared to be a deserted row in the store and very discretly started putting on my pantyhose. I was on the second leg in the most compromising position when a man came around the corner. Eyes opened wide, he quickly backed up and to the next asile! At least someone got a cheap thrill tonight!
So I showed up at his door, dressed like a lady and did not surprise him at all, but it did not keep the evening from being every bit as wonderful as the first! ( and he DID appreciate the underwear eventually!)
We were happy to see Linny so happy. She tod good stories, too!
The moral of the story that we took away:
It's good to get out of your comfort zone ( especially when you are our age!) Just know your limitations!
Go for it!
Meredith
October 16, 2011
Friends with benefits
The Dorm is not totally exclusive to the 4 of us. There are a wide variety of "associates" and a very few honorary members. In order to become an honorary member, one must meet stringent requirements, like staying over night with us, drinking with us, sharing all their secrets and cooking for us! Bringing dark chocolate as the hostess gift pushes it over the top!
Anyway, we had a new honorary member a few weeks ago, and I got permission to share her experience with the "friends with benefits" concept. I think she's really onto something!
Linny was divorced and had had a very tough few years. We had told her for a long time that she had not been treated well and deserved better, urging her to leave, but people make their moves in their own time. Anyway, while she was beginning to get back on her feet and feel more optimism about life, she had still lost all confidence in her ability to ever have a romantic relationship again.
So a few weeks ago, she had plans to meet with a long time business associate who was coming to NY. They had always liked each other, on the very most professional level. He had business in town and wanted to catch up over dinner. Innocent enough...
Well, apparently they had a wonderful time, comparing their experiences over the years and in the process of laughing more than either of them had in awhile, Linny started to feel something very unusual. It was after they confessed that neither of them had had any sex or love in their life for 5+ years that the idea took hold. One test kiss indicated that there was more than adequate chemistry. So, as you can guess, they made a very practical decision to end their mutual drought....
As Linney gazes out over the dining room table with a big sigh and a lovesick look in her eyes, we all say: "GO ON! GO ON!..."
She said "well if that was good sex, then I must have never had anything like it before! It was WONDERFULLLLL... We knew she must really like him because she wouldn't give us more details, but she did say. He is my new BEST friend. I couldn't be more grateful if he had give me a kidney!
We were really happy for her! She hadn't looked so relaxed in years...
So here's the news flash: it's big world out there and as we try to make our way without any more humiliation or failure than necessary, sometimes all you really need is a little help from your friends.
Meredith
Anyway, we had a new honorary member a few weeks ago, and I got permission to share her experience with the "friends with benefits" concept. I think she's really onto something!
Linny was divorced and had had a very tough few years. We had told her for a long time that she had not been treated well and deserved better, urging her to leave, but people make their moves in their own time. Anyway, while she was beginning to get back on her feet and feel more optimism about life, she had still lost all confidence in her ability to ever have a romantic relationship again.
So a few weeks ago, she had plans to meet with a long time business associate who was coming to NY. They had always liked each other, on the very most professional level. He had business in town and wanted to catch up over dinner. Innocent enough...
Well, apparently they had a wonderful time, comparing their experiences over the years and in the process of laughing more than either of them had in awhile, Linny started to feel something very unusual. It was after they confessed that neither of them had had any sex or love in their life for 5+ years that the idea took hold. One test kiss indicated that there was more than adequate chemistry. So, as you can guess, they made a very practical decision to end their mutual drought....
As Linney gazes out over the dining room table with a big sigh and a lovesick look in her eyes, we all say: "GO ON! GO ON!..."
She said "well if that was good sex, then I must have never had anything like it before! It was WONDERFULLLLL... We knew she must really like him because she wouldn't give us more details, but she did say. He is my new BEST friend. I couldn't be more grateful if he had give me a kidney!
We were really happy for her! She hadn't looked so relaxed in years...
So here's the news flash: it's big world out there and as we try to make our way without any more humiliation or failure than necessary, sometimes all you really need is a little help from your friends.
Meredith
September 21, 2011
Dorm Update
Anna had a BIG birthday last month which now spreads the age range of the Dorm residents to 5 decades. Who would believe it??? None of us look a day over 49. And Clair is clearly 20 something (and making the most of it, I might add).
Speaking of which, is it a NY thing or a youth thing to go out at 11 to begin your evening? I guess in a small town where I grew up, 11 was curfew and if found walking the streets after 12 ( because everything closed by 12) Chief Merle Heffelman would pick you up, take you home in his squad car and wake your parents up to witness your shame. Of course, back in the day, shame was nothing compared to the "Wrath of MOM". Besides a good dose of corporal communication, the chores and punishments alone were enough to make you want to volunteer for Vietnam! How things have changed!
We are so proud of Claire! She has managed to balance an active social life with school an still win an impressive internship with the best fashion design name in the industry! Ahhhh! To be all that and young, too!
Ruby's move is almost complete, so when she moves to her dream house, we'll see where the Dorm and NY fit in .
Anna's apartment is still for sale. We both fear and anticipate every new showing. We want for her to sell and move on to what she needs ( but in the end it IS all about us. What will we do without the dorm????)...thus the fear part.
I'm moving on, as my divorce is final and I'm still friends with my ex, but beginning to more fully appreciate being an X. Our relationship had become toxic for us both. I actually met a nice man on-line, and have been absolutely amazed at how touched I am by someone being kind and attentive. I'm still ALIVE in there! WOHOO! Who knew?!!!
So as we all anxiously await the next chapter, it is with great hopes for the future, having the solid support of great friends!
Hug a friend today!
Meredith
Speaking of which, is it a NY thing or a youth thing to go out at 11 to begin your evening? I guess in a small town where I grew up, 11 was curfew and if found walking the streets after 12 ( because everything closed by 12) Chief Merle Heffelman would pick you up, take you home in his squad car and wake your parents up to witness your shame. Of course, back in the day, shame was nothing compared to the "Wrath of MOM". Besides a good dose of corporal communication, the chores and punishments alone were enough to make you want to volunteer for Vietnam! How things have changed!
We are so proud of Claire! She has managed to balance an active social life with school an still win an impressive internship with the best fashion design name in the industry! Ahhhh! To be all that and young, too!
Ruby's move is almost complete, so when she moves to her dream house, we'll see where the Dorm and NY fit in .
Anna's apartment is still for sale. We both fear and anticipate every new showing. We want for her to sell and move on to what she needs ( but in the end it IS all about us. What will we do without the dorm????)...thus the fear part.
I'm moving on, as my divorce is final and I'm still friends with my ex, but beginning to more fully appreciate being an X. Our relationship had become toxic for us both. I actually met a nice man on-line, and have been absolutely amazed at how touched I am by someone being kind and attentive. I'm still ALIVE in there! WOHOO! Who knew?!!!
So as we all anxiously await the next chapter, it is with great hopes for the future, having the solid support of great friends!
Hug a friend today!
Meredith
July 4, 2011
Change- if it doesn't kill you it will keep you young
What is it about human nature that makes us want the occasional change, but fear it at the same time?
Getting divorced after 26 years of marriage is quite a change. Thank God I have had my supportive friends in the dorm and in other parts of the world to have gotten me through the worst part of "processing". Losing my dream house and actually moving lock, stock and shoe racks to NYC in the next thing on the agenda to try to accept with grace (and a little wine).
Anna is about to put her coop apartment of 30 something years on the market ( so even the Dorm is about to change!)
Ruby is finalizing a move from Los Angles to the outback of Washington state, 3 hours from the nearest airport. For a city girl who still needs to work in NY, a significant challenge that comes along with her dream house.
Claire is starting her internship at Ralph Lauren and is planning to spread her wings and move out with her young friends in a communal apartment. (Who will we have to "mother"???)
I guess, whether you PLAN a major change or it sneaks up and blindsides you, getting friendly with it will help the transition. There is no point in lamenting the loss of the comfort of routine. Comfort is, after all, overrated. No one ever did anything awesome by being totally comfortable with their life.
So if DISCOMFORT is a motivator, look out world! We're heading out of our comfort zone!
If you ever wake up and realize you've had toast every morning for breakfast for the past 120 days, you could be headed for trouble!
I'm going to lose 20 pounds, start feeling beautiful again kick ass and not take names at my job and make a difference in my world! Hold me accountable. Check in again soon!
You go girls!
XXOO
Meredith
Getting divorced after 26 years of marriage is quite a change. Thank God I have had my supportive friends in the dorm and in other parts of the world to have gotten me through the worst part of "processing". Losing my dream house and actually moving lock, stock and shoe racks to NYC in the next thing on the agenda to try to accept with grace (and a little wine).
Anna is about to put her coop apartment of 30 something years on the market ( so even the Dorm is about to change!)
Ruby is finalizing a move from Los Angles to the outback of Washington state, 3 hours from the nearest airport. For a city girl who still needs to work in NY, a significant challenge that comes along with her dream house.
Claire is starting her internship at Ralph Lauren and is planning to spread her wings and move out with her young friends in a communal apartment. (Who will we have to "mother"???)
I guess, whether you PLAN a major change or it sneaks up and blindsides you, getting friendly with it will help the transition. There is no point in lamenting the loss of the comfort of routine. Comfort is, after all, overrated. No one ever did anything awesome by being totally comfortable with their life.
So if DISCOMFORT is a motivator, look out world! We're heading out of our comfort zone!
If you ever wake up and realize you've had toast every morning for breakfast for the past 120 days, you could be headed for trouble!
I'm going to lose 20 pounds, start feeling beautiful again kick ass and not take names at my job and make a difference in my world! Hold me accountable. Check in again soon!
You go girls!
XXOO
Meredith
June 13, 2011
Hellooooo....Mellow Yellow, Lemon Cello
A few weeks ago, Anna started talking about making some homemade Lemon Cello (pronounced Chello) for us. She explained that it was a very special liqueur, that is only authentic if made from scratch. She travelled to Italy at least once a year, and happened to have a stash of pure Italian grain alcohol for that purpose ( But we didn't know that at the time!) A few days later, we noticed two large bags of lemons and a few days after that, Anna introduced us to her delicious concoction. Awesome! Tastes like the best lemon drop martini ever!
I'd savor a very small glass over ice before I went to bed once in awhile. But we felt, with all the trouble she went to making this "taste of heaven" we should probably save it for special occasions.
Well, last week was one of those spontaneous occasions where dinner took an extra long time to prepare so Ruby and I had "support group" ( which is another term for Cocktail hour) ad cracked open a bottle of wine before dinner. Dinner was excellent, as always, and the three of us got into some very amusing and witty conversations . Before we knew it , bottle one was gone and Ruby, never missing a beat had our glasses filled with Bottle #2 ( BTW, we buy the large economy sized ones- better on the budget).
The conversation did get around to some pretty heavy stuff, since we're going through a wide variety of stressful situations and even crises in our lives at the Dorm ( not the least of which, my divorce). As the last drops poured out of our back-up bottle, we were just getting some good therapy going, and were trying to figure out our next move, when Anna suggested we get out the Lemon Cello.
The last thing I remember was saying "we can't do that!" (meaning we CAN'T drink liqueur after all that wine). Anna thought I didn't want to drink her special hand made recipe, but save it for guests, so she said " why not????"
That really WAS the last thing I remember. When I woke up the next morning, we were already 30 minutes late for work. I could barely see, so a quick trip to the bathroom to drink a quart of water out of the faucet, then I looked up and saw that my eyes were almost swollen shut. I woke Ruby and ( like a nightmare about waking up in Hangover 2) said " What the h... happened last night??
She fell out of bed looking quite disoriented and when she got used to the light enough to open her eyes, said
"I think we shouldn't have had Lemon Cello".
"We drank Lemon Cello??" From the other room, Anna moaned "Yep. All of it!".
Then ... "I'm SO glad you guys are alive! I thought it might have killed you."
"But why are my eyes swollen shut??"
"Oh...You had a meltdown," said Ruby. "A gut-wrenching, soulful, self-flaggelation about all the mistakes you made and how your life is a mess and it's a your fault- MELTDOWN."
But I didn't remember any of it.
"Believe me, you don't want to know... suffice it to say you should feel better for having gotten it out of your system".
But there was more stuff that needed to get out of my system, so I drank another quart of water, and searched the recesses of my memory for when I had felt this hungover in the past 30 years, and what I had done about it. OMG!
Anna later told us that Lemon Cello is made with Imported 195% proof Italian grain alcohol. Even diluted with some lemon zest and sugar, it was clearly our of our league.
We suffered through the day and at dinner that night , briefly wondered if the Betty Ford Clinic would give us a group rate...
Lesson learned.
I'd savor a very small glass over ice before I went to bed once in awhile. But we felt, with all the trouble she went to making this "taste of heaven" we should probably save it for special occasions.
Well, last week was one of those spontaneous occasions where dinner took an extra long time to prepare so Ruby and I had "support group" ( which is another term for Cocktail hour) ad cracked open a bottle of wine before dinner. Dinner was excellent, as always, and the three of us got into some very amusing and witty conversations . Before we knew it , bottle one was gone and Ruby, never missing a beat had our glasses filled with Bottle #2 ( BTW, we buy the large economy sized ones- better on the budget).
The conversation did get around to some pretty heavy stuff, since we're going through a wide variety of stressful situations and even crises in our lives at the Dorm ( not the least of which, my divorce). As the last drops poured out of our back-up bottle, we were just getting some good therapy going, and were trying to figure out our next move, when Anna suggested we get out the Lemon Cello.
The last thing I remember was saying "we can't do that!" (meaning we CAN'T drink liqueur after all that wine). Anna thought I didn't want to drink her special hand made recipe, but save it for guests, so she said " why not????"
That really WAS the last thing I remember. When I woke up the next morning, we were already 30 minutes late for work. I could barely see, so a quick trip to the bathroom to drink a quart of water out of the faucet, then I looked up and saw that my eyes were almost swollen shut. I woke Ruby and ( like a nightmare about waking up in Hangover 2) said " What the h... happened last night??
She fell out of bed looking quite disoriented and when she got used to the light enough to open her eyes, said
"I think we shouldn't have had Lemon Cello".
"We drank Lemon Cello??" From the other room, Anna moaned "Yep. All of it!".
Then ... "I'm SO glad you guys are alive! I thought it might have killed you."
"But why are my eyes swollen shut??"
"Oh...You had a meltdown," said Ruby. "A gut-wrenching, soulful, self-flaggelation about all the mistakes you made and how your life is a mess and it's a your fault- MELTDOWN."
But I didn't remember any of it.
"Believe me, you don't want to know... suffice it to say you should feel better for having gotten it out of your system".
But there was more stuff that needed to get out of my system, so I drank another quart of water, and searched the recesses of my memory for when I had felt this hungover in the past 30 years, and what I had done about it. OMG!
Anna later told us that Lemon Cello is made with Imported 195% proof Italian grain alcohol. Even diluted with some lemon zest and sugar, it was clearly our of our league.
We suffered through the day and at dinner that night , briefly wondered if the Betty Ford Clinic would give us a group rate...
Lesson learned.
June 2, 2011
Mother's Day in the Dorm
In keeping with our philosophy of always creating something to look forward to, we decided to have our own Mother's day celebration at the Dorm, even though none of us would be near our kids (and some of us don't even have kids other than the 4 legged kind). Why sit around and crochet while crying in our tea???
So it was the 4 of us plus Gay's friend Mary, who is a hoot. She lost her only daughter a few years go so we weren't sure she would come, but I know she's glad she did.
At Brunch time it magically came together as if little elves were working all night. Flowers on the table, a card from the youngest member of the dorm, made out to "my 3 Moms" pancakes with fresh strawberries, brown sugan and whipped cream and two pounds of decadent BACON, fried crispy, with no guilt on the side! Oh yeah and wine, wine, wine. We started out with Mimosa's but how far does a bottle of champaign go split 5 ways???Really?
So to go with our wine and dessert chocolate, we decided to see how creative and devious our friends really were... We broke out the game of Balderdash, and found that we are all first class pervaricators! We played and laughed and drank and never ONCE felt sorry for ourselves. In fact it was one of the best days ever, because we made somethnig happen with our goood friends!
Who needs TV? Who needs movies? When we have our friends to entertain us!
So it was the 4 of us plus Gay's friend Mary, who is a hoot. She lost her only daughter a few years go so we weren't sure she would come, but I know she's glad she did.
At Brunch time it magically came together as if little elves were working all night. Flowers on the table, a card from the youngest member of the dorm, made out to "my 3 Moms" pancakes with fresh strawberries, brown sugan and whipped cream and two pounds of decadent BACON, fried crispy, with no guilt on the side! Oh yeah and wine, wine, wine. We started out with Mimosa's but how far does a bottle of champaign go split 5 ways???Really?
So to go with our wine and dessert chocolate, we decided to see how creative and devious our friends really were... We broke out the game of Balderdash, and found that we are all first class pervaricators! We played and laughed and drank and never ONCE felt sorry for ourselves. In fact it was one of the best days ever, because we made somethnig happen with our goood friends!
Who needs TV? Who needs movies? When we have our friends to entertain us!
April 24, 2011
Man of the House
We had one of our many friends come to dinner a few weeks ago to experience the Dorm for herself, over lovely dinner of lamb chops, butternut squash ravioli with browned butter and one of Anna's heavenly salads.
Of course, the Dorm dog, Jersey, gave her the typical "I-can-tell-you're-a-dog-lover" rousing welcome, complete with slobering kisses and finishing with a subtle but heartfelt leg hug "dance". He sat with her to make her feel at home, while giving each of us our due amount of attention, by putting a paw on each hand when he wants a pet.
My friend obvserved that as we sat down to dinner, Jersey sat on the floor at the head of the table (He's a big pup so his head is well above the table line) and watched the interaction with interest.
It's a big job he's got! Taking care of all of these women! ...Making us feel someone is overjoyed when we come home, being sensitive to the one who is the most emotionally needy at any given time, to gently lay his paw on their hand in an understanding way or lay his head on our lap. Keeping each of us in good spirits at all times is a daunting task, but Jersey seems to take it seriously. Each of us is special to him and he makes us feel like his world is more complete since we're there!
He is the man of our house and we have never felt so appreciated!
Thanks, Jersey!
Of course, the Dorm dog, Jersey, gave her the typical "I-can-tell-you're-a-dog-lover" rousing welcome, complete with slobering kisses and finishing with a subtle but heartfelt leg hug "dance". He sat with her to make her feel at home, while giving each of us our due amount of attention, by putting a paw on each hand when he wants a pet.
My friend obvserved that as we sat down to dinner, Jersey sat on the floor at the head of the table (He's a big pup so his head is well above the table line) and watched the interaction with interest.
It's a big job he's got! Taking care of all of these women! ...Making us feel someone is overjoyed when we come home, being sensitive to the one who is the most emotionally needy at any given time, to gently lay his paw on their hand in an understanding way or lay his head on our lap. Keeping each of us in good spirits at all times is a daunting task, but Jersey seems to take it seriously. Each of us is special to him and he makes us feel like his world is more complete since we're there!
He is the man of our house and we have never felt so appreciated!
Thanks, Jersey!
April 3, 2011
Looking forward to something
OK. The snow has stopped, at least for the weekend, and all of us take it as an omen of new beginnings. Ruby and I have been travelling in different directions and are happy to be back at the Dorm together with nna and Clair.
Ruby made a fantasastic dinner last night, but the best part is always the second glass of wine and the lost art of conversation over a leisurely meal. We're planning our next projects, an apartment rehab, the possibility of having Thanksgiving in Cabo and our next wild and crazy Spa girls weekend in Palm Springs.
It doesn't matter that some of these ventures might not actually materialize. What matters is that we must ALWAYS have things to look forward to!
Anna has been making some awesome breakfasts with at least two cups of her orgsamic coffee elixer with vanilla silk and a never ending stream of conversational topics. For instance, Ruby was going through fashion magazines to make an inspiration board for the Fall line, and we teased her about stopping to scratch and sniff every perfume sample she came to , until she actually got a painful paper cut on her nose! Injured in the line of duty! I wonder if workers comp applies?
So I look forward to seeing her inspiration board, look forward to losing 10 pounds before Spa Girls weekend, look forward to the line hitting $2 million in bookings. I even look forward to what new turn our conversaton will take at the next Dorm dinner (or breakfast)!
It's good to start looking forward again!
Meredith
Ruby made a fantasastic dinner last night, but the best part is always the second glass of wine and the lost art of conversation over a leisurely meal. We're planning our next projects, an apartment rehab, the possibility of having Thanksgiving in Cabo and our next wild and crazy Spa girls weekend in Palm Springs.
It doesn't matter that some of these ventures might not actually materialize. What matters is that we must ALWAYS have things to look forward to!
Anna has been making some awesome breakfasts with at least two cups of her orgsamic coffee elixer with vanilla silk and a never ending stream of conversational topics. For instance, Ruby was going through fashion magazines to make an inspiration board for the Fall line, and we teased her about stopping to scratch and sniff every perfume sample she came to , until she actually got a painful paper cut on her nose! Injured in the line of duty! I wonder if workers comp applies?
So I look forward to seeing her inspiration board, look forward to losing 10 pounds before Spa Girls weekend, look forward to the line hitting $2 million in bookings. I even look forward to what new turn our conversaton will take at the next Dorm dinner (or breakfast)!
It's good to start looking forward again!
Meredith
March 13, 2011
Just go with it
I saw the movie last night with Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler called "just go with it" and it reminded me of how often, in order to keep our sanity and equilibrium, we need to tell ourselves the same.
When I came home at Christmas after working my tail off to get this business started, my husband of 26 years, told me he was not happy with the arrangement of me being gone all the time. He is, after all, 11 years younger than me and has different "social needs" that I do. He wanted fun and romance and hot sex and would not settle for anything less, so brought up the D word... I was devastated.
Just to give you background, my husband and I had worked for the same company. He lost his job 2 1/2 years ago which was a huge financial loss for us, and the burden fell on me for supporting the family and making ends meet. Then as our company went belly up I lost my job in the process and was looking frantically to put together a business plan to get a job ( Looking for a job in the fashion industry when you're over 50 is like auditioning to be the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model when you're 30 lbs overweight and have leprosy. You might as well be dead!) But I did everything I could think of , including taking a part time job doing demo's at Sam's club while flying back and forth to Florida to visit my terminally ill Mother ( Dad had just died the year before) There was no stress! Right! I actually wonder how I even got out of bed every day! Hot sex was not on my list of priorities or even on my list and had not been for awhile. It was survival only... Taking care of my husband consisted of supporting both of us, trying to help him keep up his morale, ( including sending him on a golf vacation with his buddies and encouraging him to visit his cronies at the local pub once a week, putting up with his bad moods and anger and keeping us out of bankruptcy. I thought I was being a good partner, and even gave him a job he really wanted as sales rep for the new company. Apparently that fell woefully short of his expectations, and in my absence he had already moved on.
So here I am, going on 60 with savings and 401K depleted from the events of the past few years, starting over with nothing and no one to ever take care of ME for a change. I could go with the feeling of being used, and abandoned. It would be easy to go with being angry, and even vindictive by firing his ass...( If you want to live without me so bad, then get your own job!) Despite the obvious joys of being with good friends at the Dorm, I have spent a fair share of weekends curled up in a fetal position trying to deal with the emotions that I am finally starting to feel from all of the losses of the past few years.
But in the end, I have to Thank God for the warm supportive friends I have in my life and as I count my blessings I'm staring to see that they would not BE my friends if our relationship had been as one sided as my marriage was. So I'm going to chose to "just go with it" and be grateful that he took the initiative to get what he wanted, because I would have never gone there for myself.
Sometimes "going with it" is the best possible path we could choose!
When I came home at Christmas after working my tail off to get this business started, my husband of 26 years, told me he was not happy with the arrangement of me being gone all the time. He is, after all, 11 years younger than me and has different "social needs" that I do. He wanted fun and romance and hot sex and would not settle for anything less, so brought up the D word... I was devastated.
Just to give you background, my husband and I had worked for the same company. He lost his job 2 1/2 years ago which was a huge financial loss for us, and the burden fell on me for supporting the family and making ends meet. Then as our company went belly up I lost my job in the process and was looking frantically to put together a business plan to get a job ( Looking for a job in the fashion industry when you're over 50 is like auditioning to be the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model when you're 30 lbs overweight and have leprosy. You might as well be dead!) But I did everything I could think of , including taking a part time job doing demo's at Sam's club while flying back and forth to Florida to visit my terminally ill Mother ( Dad had just died the year before) There was no stress! Right! I actually wonder how I even got out of bed every day! Hot sex was not on my list of priorities or even on my list and had not been for awhile. It was survival only... Taking care of my husband consisted of supporting both of us, trying to help him keep up his morale, ( including sending him on a golf vacation with his buddies and encouraging him to visit his cronies at the local pub once a week, putting up with his bad moods and anger and keeping us out of bankruptcy. I thought I was being a good partner, and even gave him a job he really wanted as sales rep for the new company. Apparently that fell woefully short of his expectations, and in my absence he had already moved on.
So here I am, going on 60 with savings and 401K depleted from the events of the past few years, starting over with nothing and no one to ever take care of ME for a change. I could go with the feeling of being used, and abandoned. It would be easy to go with being angry, and even vindictive by firing his ass...( If you want to live without me so bad, then get your own job!) Despite the obvious joys of being with good friends at the Dorm, I have spent a fair share of weekends curled up in a fetal position trying to deal with the emotions that I am finally starting to feel from all of the losses of the past few years.
But in the end, I have to Thank God for the warm supportive friends I have in my life and as I count my blessings I'm staring to see that they would not BE my friends if our relationship had been as one sided as my marriage was. So I'm going to chose to "just go with it" and be grateful that he took the initiative to get what he wanted, because I would have never gone there for myself.
Sometimes "going with it" is the best possible path we could choose!
February 26, 2011
Meredith, the Optimist
Back in my sunny So Cal, I need to tell you about my friend, and, mentor.
Meredith was the employer that hired me, in what I refer to as my first "Big Girl Job". She gave me a chance to prove my "chops" as a designer. That entailed much more than I bargained for. I did not have a clue. That, I learned very fast. I needed that job, and was determined not to get fired. I usually left the office in tears, and felt like the failure I was. Then I listened, and learned...alot.
Business is not design school, and anyone who thinks they can sit in an ivory tower and make gorgeous designs, should choose another career
..
Fast forward 2 years, and I was her protegy. Fast forward 6 months, and we were both out of a job. Company closed. Nice. She made a deal with the company that bought the label, and we had jobs again!! Thank you, thank you, Meredith, the ultimate business woman.
We went our separate ways, staying in touch, and became friends. (much, much, more on this later).
Stuff happened, and fast forward 20@#&#@ years, and here we are again. Meredith has given me a new start in a business that chews you up and spits you out. She does not know the meaning of fail, and that drive and optimism is why success is the only option for her. It is not an easy road; not everyone understands what it takes. There is no doubt in my mind that Meredith will prevail. It is her faith and belief in herself and those she chooses to work with that will ensure that!! Yea, that I am 1 of the chosen. Onward and upward
.
What a great journey.
Meredith was the employer that hired me, in what I refer to as my first "Big Girl Job". She gave me a chance to prove my "chops" as a designer. That entailed much more than I bargained for. I did not have a clue. That, I learned very fast. I needed that job, and was determined not to get fired. I usually left the office in tears, and felt like the failure I was. Then I listened, and learned...alot.
Business is not design school, and anyone who thinks they can sit in an ivory tower and make gorgeous designs, should choose another career
..
Fast forward 2 years, and I was her protegy. Fast forward 6 months, and we were both out of a job. Company closed. Nice. She made a deal with the company that bought the label, and we had jobs again!! Thank you, thank you, Meredith, the ultimate business woman.
We went our separate ways, staying in touch, and became friends. (much, much, more on this later).
Stuff happened, and fast forward 20@#&#@ years, and here we are again. Meredith has given me a new start in a business that chews you up and spits you out. She does not know the meaning of fail, and that drive and optimism is why success is the only option for her. It is not an easy road; not everyone understands what it takes. There is no doubt in my mind that Meredith will prevail. It is her faith and belief in herself and those she chooses to work with that will ensure that!! Yea, that I am 1 of the chosen. Onward and upward
.
What a great journey.
February 25, 2011
none of us are normal
So obviously you can see what we're dealing with in Claire. We love her dearly, and in our own way will help her deal with her eccentricities. None of us are normal, so why does she think she's so special??? Because she hasn't figured that out yet. That's all!
Anna will not eat two different meats in one dish.
Ruby considers herself a "dog whisperer" and goes into a deep depression if she meets an animal that doesn't instantly bond with her. Last night we watched a movie in which the good guy was kidnapped and being tortured by having rats all over him eating his body. Ruby was most worried about what the cops would do to the rats when they found them munching away .
I am way too close to my weirdness to even be able to identify all of it, but I'm sure it's there. Don't even have to give it a name!
I guess if you can realize that none of us are "normal" ,( nor would we WANT to be), we can come one step closer to the ever elusive self-acceptance and even self-love.
I'm convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that this dorm is extremely loveable, and special ,each and every one!
But "normal" we are not! ( and proud of it!)
Anna will not eat two different meats in one dish.
Ruby considers herself a "dog whisperer" and goes into a deep depression if she meets an animal that doesn't instantly bond with her. Last night we watched a movie in which the good guy was kidnapped and being tortured by having rats all over him eating his body. Ruby was most worried about what the cops would do to the rats when they found them munching away .
I am way too close to my weirdness to even be able to identify all of it, but I'm sure it's there. Don't even have to give it a name!
I guess if you can realize that none of us are "normal" ,( nor would we WANT to be), we can come one step closer to the ever elusive self-acceptance and even self-love.
I'm convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that this dorm is extremely loveable, and special ,each and every one!
But "normal" we are not! ( and proud of it!)
Playing with Food
We sat down for a twist on our usual "dorm dinner" the other night. Anna had pleasantly laid out an array of Mediterranean hors'dourves to lure us to the always delicious table. The menu boasted tzatziki, pita chips, hummus, some chicken/bean stuff, fresh strawberries, and a delicious salad. As I elevated one more pita chip smothered in tzatziki to my mouth, one of the roomies blurted out, "I'm so proud of you for eating all this! Look, you guys, she LIKES it!"
In my mind, I'm one of the least picky eaters ever. My taste limitations only exclude three things: olives, green pepper, cashews. Seriously. That's it. Unfortunately, only I will ever believe this statement.
The dorm has grown accustomed to my 'preferences'. (1) I've been lactose intolerant my entire life. It's pretty much miserable because I suffer from an addiction to cheese and ice cream. So no dairy for me without my trusty lactase enzyme pills. (2) Two-point-five years ago, I chose to adopt a vegetarian diet, suffering a touch of PTSD from academic research on factory farming, a past roommate's bout with food poisoning (from chicken), and the horrendous ozone layer of our suffocating planet. (3) Since high school, most of my stress has led to psychosomatic symptoms in the form of headaches and stomach issues. Luckily, though I still fail to manage my stress levels, I do know what foods make this condition worse or better at the time of infliction. (4) I hate hate hate germs, especially on my food. I won't eat something that has touched my {or anyone else's} fingers, dirty silverware, or potentially contaminated surfaces.
Sure, I'm a little neurotic, particular, and stubborn, but I really do LOVE food and so a 'picky eater', I consider myself not. I will taste most things once, and most things I taste I like. My poor deprived tastebuds have just been assigned to the wrong tongue--in a body that doesn't agree with their flavorful preferences.
--Claire
In my mind, I'm one of the least picky eaters ever. My taste limitations only exclude three things: olives, green pepper, cashews. Seriously. That's it. Unfortunately, only I will ever believe this statement.
The dorm has grown accustomed to my 'preferences'. (1) I've been lactose intolerant my entire life. It's pretty much miserable because I suffer from an addiction to cheese and ice cream. So no dairy for me without my trusty lactase enzyme pills. (2) Two-point-five years ago, I chose to adopt a vegetarian diet, suffering a touch of PTSD from academic research on factory farming, a past roommate's bout with food poisoning (from chicken), and the horrendous ozone layer of our suffocating planet. (3) Since high school, most of my stress has led to psychosomatic symptoms in the form of headaches and stomach issues. Luckily, though I still fail to manage my stress levels, I do know what foods make this condition worse or better at the time of infliction. (4) I hate hate hate germs, especially on my food. I won't eat something that has touched my {or anyone else's} fingers, dirty silverware, or potentially contaminated surfaces.
Sure, I'm a little neurotic, particular, and stubborn, but I really do LOVE food and so a 'picky eater', I consider myself not. I will taste most things once, and most things I taste I like. My poor deprived tastebuds have just been assigned to the wrong tongue--in a body that doesn't agree with their flavorful preferences.
--Claire
February 24, 2011
Feeding the soul
I've had 4 good years of marriage. The bad news is, I've been married 25 years. So the Dorm get-away is like a breath of fresh air for me! Lots of laughs and people who work hard, play hard and actually take their eyes off the TV when they talk to you.
So I'm making the most of it!
Stuff you can't do at home...listen to opera at 8AM instead of watching Mike & Mike discuss sports on the boob tube (like at home in Dallas) . I tried something different this morning...I put on Pavarotti to listen to while we put on our make up and slowly woke up to face the world. It was so ethereal and beautiful that neither Ruby nor I wanted to leave for work!
But the echoes of the majestic music stayed with us as we waked to the subway and throughout the day...
And when we were figuring out later, what we wanted to cook for dinner, we were still sufficiently in the euphoria to decide that we deserved to go out for a lovely dinner (even though we were all but broke).
I digress for a moment to explain "broke". Ruby and lost our jobs when our respective companies closed. It's tough for anyone over 40 to get a new job in the apparel business and both of us saw 40 in the rear view mirror. At least her husband was a hard working college professor, close to retirement. My spouse lost his job 2 years ago and has not been able to find anything appropriate to his talents since them. so by the time I lost mine, we had gone through most of our savings and 401K. After a few months I was able to put together a proposal for a new apparel division for a company in NY and pulled Ruby along with me to design. I also gave my husband a sales job in Texas, so while we had a lot of losses to make up, at least we had an opportunity to get back on our feet.
So, as we were saying...we deserved to go out for a lovely dinner...
Ahhh!!!! Nothing takes away the stench of poverty like the fragrant aroma of French cuisine at the Un ,Deux, Trois Cafe... We used to frequent that place when we travelled to NY on business and had the almighty expense account as our companion.
For a brief evening, we felt like the successful business women we were!
Our souls were well fed today and I'm confident it will make for a better day tomorrow!
Who knew how much my life was about to change!
So I'm making the most of it!
Stuff you can't do at home...listen to opera at 8AM instead of watching Mike & Mike discuss sports on the boob tube (like at home in Dallas) . I tried something different this morning...I put on Pavarotti to listen to while we put on our make up and slowly woke up to face the world. It was so ethereal and beautiful that neither Ruby nor I wanted to leave for work!
But the echoes of the majestic music stayed with us as we waked to the subway and throughout the day...
And when we were figuring out later, what we wanted to cook for dinner, we were still sufficiently in the euphoria to decide that we deserved to go out for a lovely dinner (even though we were all but broke).
I digress for a moment to explain "broke". Ruby and lost our jobs when our respective companies closed. It's tough for anyone over 40 to get a new job in the apparel business and both of us saw 40 in the rear view mirror. At least her husband was a hard working college professor, close to retirement. My spouse lost his job 2 years ago and has not been able to find anything appropriate to his talents since them. so by the time I lost mine, we had gone through most of our savings and 401K. After a few months I was able to put together a proposal for a new apparel division for a company in NY and pulled Ruby along with me to design. I also gave my husband a sales job in Texas, so while we had a lot of losses to make up, at least we had an opportunity to get back on our feet.
So, as we were saying...we deserved to go out for a lovely dinner...
Ahhh!!!! Nothing takes away the stench of poverty like the fragrant aroma of French cuisine at the Un ,Deux, Trois Cafe... We used to frequent that place when we travelled to NY on business and had the almighty expense account as our companion.
For a brief evening, we felt like the successful business women we were!
Our souls were well fed today and I'm confident it will make for a better day tomorrow!
Who knew how much my life was about to change!
February 22, 2011
Doggy Dilemma
My husband is the caretaker of our 2 beautiful boxers while I work in New York. They are more happy with that arrangement then I am.
However, Mr. G is handling an unfortunate problem that has "popped up" with our male, Mr. D. His manliness has been showing itself lately, and seems unwilling to hide. We have taken him to the vet on several occasions. The vet has done research on the problem, which is fairly rare, apparently, and has come to the conclusion that as long as it goes back into hiding eventually, there is nothing to be done. A more drastic approach involves surgery - no way!!
So when this happens, M. G has to sit with Mr. D., armed with KY jelly, to achieve the turtle effect through massage. He is worried that some neighbor will see him, misinterpret the interaction, and call the ASPCA.
So, in empathy, I ask any of you if you have any insight on this particular issue - we would love some other input.
Meanwhile, Mr. G, keep the drapes closed!
However, Mr. G is handling an unfortunate problem that has "popped up" with our male, Mr. D. His manliness has been showing itself lately, and seems unwilling to hide. We have taken him to the vet on several occasions. The vet has done research on the problem, which is fairly rare, apparently, and has come to the conclusion that as long as it goes back into hiding eventually, there is nothing to be done. A more drastic approach involves surgery - no way!!
So when this happens, M. G has to sit with Mr. D., armed with KY jelly, to achieve the turtle effect through massage. He is worried that some neighbor will see him, misinterpret the interaction, and call the ASPCA.
So, in empathy, I ask any of you if you have any insight on this particular issue - we would love some other input.
Meanwhile, Mr. G, keep the drapes closed!
The wrong keys
Yes, it truly is no fun running out of the apartment after 1:00 am with the wrong keys. Once upon a time, a long time ago, even before cell phones, I took one of my former dogs out for his late night walk, a bit later than usual, around 1:30. It wasn’t until I got back to the outer door, that I realized that I had my car keys, no wallet and not even a quarter in my pocket. It was midweek. I went outside and checked to see which apartments had lights on so I could get someone to buzz me in. Now it was a little after 2:00. All the lights were out. All I had was my dog and my car keys.
Well I had one safe haven left to me, my car. Luckily the remote to the building’s garage was with my car keys. I got in, walked down to the sub basement level of the garage imagining that the murderer/rapist was hiding somewhere waiting for an unsuspecting woman to walk in alone. I made it to my car, jumped in with my dog, locked the doors and put the car seat back as far as it would go. That way the murderer/rapist would not be able to see me in my car.
Luckily, my best talent is that I can sleep, no matter where, no matter what. I shut my eyes. The next minute the clock said 7:30. I joyfully walked back up the back up the ramps, thankful that I had survived, and hoping the doorman wouldn’t see me coming out of the garage. He didn’t. He just said “early walk?” as we rushed past him.
So I totally understood Claire’s situation. I was just sorry that she didn’t have a garage she could have gone to.
February 19, 2011
The Roommate That Never Sleeps
That's me. I sleep, but only when half of the world is already awake, and this fascinates the dorm--especially Anna (see the igloo). You see, NY nightcrawlers don't make it out until about 11:30pm, so I have properly adjusted my sleeping schedule. Last night was one of the most unfortunate of my late-night experiences.
Heading out at 11:45pm, Ruby reminded me to grab my keys as I rushed out the door. Good thing! I thought, it sure would stink to be locked out with no doorman!
I met my friend from college out in Murray Hill for a couple drinks, but my presumed 1 hour excursion too-quickly turned into 4. Hating myself on the train ride back to the Upper West, I double-checked my purse to see that I had my essentials--smartphone, ipod, keys. Yep, all there. Except the keys I had were for my home in Tennessee. Being post-2am, I knew doorman would be off-duty and entrance to my apartment building would be locked. I started to panic and texted/called everyone I knew who might possibly allow me to crash their couch for the night. I considered a hotel on the corner and a hostel uptown. Nothing. I got into my apartment's foyer and knocked like crazy, no longer caring who would be awakened. Nothing. I turned on my phone to call Anna's cell only to have it flash the dead battery sign and shut itself off. I slumped down in the corner in my dress, heels, and sweater, turned High School Musical on my iPod, and proceeded to nap until the next doorman would arrive for his shift (6am--it was only 4:15am at this point).
Around 5am, I was startled by both the front and foyer doors opening and I begged to be let inside. Looking like a hungover homeless wild child (though I was NONE of these things), he questioned if I even lived here and reluctantly opened the door. I rang the doorbell to the dorm for about 2 minutes before Anna sleepily staggered to the locked door and graciously welcomed me home, no questions asked, and even relating a quick statement that she had been locked out before. The city is scary when you have no keys, no phone, and no daylight. This will be a last for me.
--Claire
Heading out at 11:45pm, Ruby reminded me to grab my keys as I rushed out the door. Good thing! I thought, it sure would stink to be locked out with no doorman!
I met my friend from college out in Murray Hill for a couple drinks, but my presumed 1 hour excursion too-quickly turned into 4. Hating myself on the train ride back to the Upper West, I double-checked my purse to see that I had my essentials--smartphone, ipod, keys. Yep, all there. Except the keys I had were for my home in Tennessee. Being post-2am, I knew doorman would be off-duty and entrance to my apartment building would be locked. I started to panic and texted/called everyone I knew who might possibly allow me to crash their couch for the night. I considered a hotel on the corner and a hostel uptown. Nothing. I got into my apartment's foyer and knocked like crazy, no longer caring who would be awakened. Nothing. I turned on my phone to call Anna's cell only to have it flash the dead battery sign and shut itself off. I slumped down in the corner in my dress, heels, and sweater, turned High School Musical on my iPod, and proceeded to nap until the next doorman would arrive for his shift (6am--it was only 4:15am at this point).
Around 5am, I was startled by both the front and foyer doors opening and I begged to be let inside. Looking like a hungover homeless wild child (though I was NONE of these things), he questioned if I even lived here and reluctantly opened the door. I rang the doorbell to the dorm for about 2 minutes before Anna sleepily staggered to the locked door and graciously welcomed me home, no questions asked, and even relating a quick statement that she had been locked out before. The city is scary when you have no keys, no phone, and no daylight. This will be a last for me.
--Claire
My Three Moms
My friends are jealous of me--and it's not because i have a hot boyfriend (which i do...), or that i'm in fashion school, or that i have 24/7 access to the best shopping/entertainment/celebrity sightings in the country. It's because I live with Anna, Meredith, and Ruby.
When asked where I live, I excitedly inform new acquaintances of the three wonderful ladies in the dorm. They wonder how I could have anything in common with three women older than my parents. How could I participate in NYC nightlife? How could I ever have guests over? What do we talk about? Do I have to censor my language, outfits, and music/movie choices? I must hide in my huge room all the time.
Well, truth is, this is ideal for me. Sure, I have some mommy issues--leaving my best friend, caregiver, and over-indulger (in all the best ways!) back home--so maybe these three are stand-ins? In a way. Meredith, Anna, and Ruby cook delicious meals and generously share them with me. They make sure I'm safe when I'm going out or coming in. They have taken care of me when I came down with a cold. And they teach me how to be more independent, optimistic, and--most importantly--a better cook!
There are a few key differences though, from my biological parents.
(1) I can drop some choice words [when necessary] without having my mouth washed out with soap.
(2) We have girl talk with a level of openness that could ruin a daughter's perception of her mother and vice versa.
(3) We go through wine unashamedly.
So when asked if living here is like the restraint of living with parents post-adolescence, I quickly retort, and the questioner eagerly decides that they want in. I spend as much time as I can with my roomies, feasting on life-lessons and enjoying witty banter, heart-to-hearts, and social commentary. There's a lot to be said for living drama-free, and that is only guaranteed if there's no chance of friend/boyfriend/job/school infringement, as insured by our adequate age gap. I can't imagine a better place for transitioning into adulthood.
--Claire
When asked where I live, I excitedly inform new acquaintances of the three wonderful ladies in the dorm. They wonder how I could have anything in common with three women older than my parents. How could I participate in NYC nightlife? How could I ever have guests over? What do we talk about? Do I have to censor my language, outfits, and music/movie choices? I must hide in my huge room all the time.
Well, truth is, this is ideal for me. Sure, I have some mommy issues--leaving my best friend, caregiver, and over-indulger (in all the best ways!) back home--so maybe these three are stand-ins? In a way. Meredith, Anna, and Ruby cook delicious meals and generously share them with me. They make sure I'm safe when I'm going out or coming in. They have taken care of me when I came down with a cold. And they teach me how to be more independent, optimistic, and--most importantly--a better cook!
There are a few key differences though, from my biological parents.
(1) I can drop some choice words [when necessary] without having my mouth washed out with soap.
(2) We have girl talk with a level of openness that could ruin a daughter's perception of her mother and vice versa.
(3) We go through wine unashamedly.
So when asked if living here is like the restraint of living with parents post-adolescence, I quickly retort, and the questioner eagerly decides that they want in. I spend as much time as I can with my roomies, feasting on life-lessons and enjoying witty banter, heart-to-hearts, and social commentary. There's a lot to be said for living drama-free, and that is only guaranteed if there's no chance of friend/boyfriend/job/school infringement, as insured by our adequate age gap. I can't imagine a better place for transitioning into adulthood.
--Claire
February 18, 2011
Friday night and the girls go wild!
So can you remember liking your job so much that it ticked you off when the office closed early or was closed for some lame holiday? Well Ruby and I are there. We were forced out of the office by 4 and were like lost souls without our lifeboat. After all, 4 seemed a bit early to start drinking. By the time we moseyed our asses home it was almost a respectable 5 pm and I received a few welcome business calls (Thank GOD some part of the world had not gone MAD!)
Soon Ruby and I had our evening (first)glass of wine, and realizing Wheel of Fortune was not on for another 2 1/2 hours, went around the corner to our favorite Mexican restaurant with Clair and then watched a movie we had downloaded. It was a 1977 classic called "Chatterbox" OMG- In case you have lived under a rock for the past 34 years, you know its about a woman who discovers that her vagina can talk! This ornery little pussy embarrasses the crap out of it's owner, so she finally goes to a doctor to see if he can resolve her problem. Instead of seeking a cure, he convinces Penelope that her alter ego, now named Virginia ( how fitting...) knows her better than she knows herself and is probably the eighth wonder of the world! He presents Penelope and Virginia to an AMA convention to a standing ovation and rave reviews. And a star was born...! The premise is actually more amusing than the movie itself, but it was a great break for us.
After that excitement subsided, Ruby and I took Mr. J dog to Central Park for his evening run. Dogs are allowed off leash after 9 pm and it's like the "teddy Bear's picnic". When everyone else gets OUT of the park by dark, the doggies and owners come out and play like crazy. The typical dog crowd is 6-10 owners and probably a few more dogs. The dogs romp and play and run and fight , while the owners share conversation and perhaps a beer.
Ruby took our Dorm's white dog to central park for his 9PM romp a few weeks ago in a snowstorm. Just so you know, Ruby is almost blind without her contacts, but after a few glasses of wine, she must have thought she could see better, and bravely strode out with Mr. J. Unfortunately, when she got to the park and let him off leash we had the perfect storm brewing: white dog in a snowstorm, led by an almost blind, extremely relaxed and happy lady who can get easily confused. Needless to say, she "lost" Mr. G and when he finally found HER, she was hopelessly lost on the EAST side of the park (and we live on the west side). We laugh about it now, but at the time she was really pissed!
Friday night at the dorm...you never know what to expect...I'm going to go contemplate my vagina and and see if she talks back! G'night!
--Meredith
Soon Ruby and I had our evening (first)glass of wine, and realizing Wheel of Fortune was not on for another 2 1/2 hours, went around the corner to our favorite Mexican restaurant with Clair and then watched a movie we had downloaded. It was a 1977 classic called "Chatterbox" OMG- In case you have lived under a rock for the past 34 years, you know its about a woman who discovers that her vagina can talk! This ornery little pussy embarrasses the crap out of it's owner, so she finally goes to a doctor to see if he can resolve her problem. Instead of seeking a cure, he convinces Penelope that her alter ego, now named Virginia ( how fitting...) knows her better than she knows herself and is probably the eighth wonder of the world! He presents Penelope and Virginia to an AMA convention to a standing ovation and rave reviews. And a star was born...! The premise is actually more amusing than the movie itself, but it was a great break for us.
After that excitement subsided, Ruby and I took Mr. J dog to Central Park for his evening run. Dogs are allowed off leash after 9 pm and it's like the "teddy Bear's picnic". When everyone else gets OUT of the park by dark, the doggies and owners come out and play like crazy. The typical dog crowd is 6-10 owners and probably a few more dogs. The dogs romp and play and run and fight , while the owners share conversation and perhaps a beer.
Ruby took our Dorm's white dog to central park for his 9PM romp a few weeks ago in a snowstorm. Just so you know, Ruby is almost blind without her contacts, but after a few glasses of wine, she must have thought she could see better, and bravely strode out with Mr. J. Unfortunately, when she got to the park and let him off leash we had the perfect storm brewing: white dog in a snowstorm, led by an almost blind, extremely relaxed and happy lady who can get easily confused. Needless to say, she "lost" Mr. G and when he finally found HER, she was hopelessly lost on the EAST side of the park (and we live on the west side). We laugh about it now, but at the time she was really pissed!
Friday night at the dorm...you never know what to expect...I'm going to go contemplate my vagina and and see if she talks back! G'night!
--Meredith
February 16, 2011
Goings and Comings
Meredith and Ruby left on January 28, not to return again until Feb 10 and 12. Claire and I are at opposite ends of the apartment, my room /office is next the room where Ruby and Meredith stay, Claire's room is closest to the front door. Since "Nature abhors a vacuum", I figured that I should have my high school friend PJMGGW come to visit. W is her married name.
PJMGGW hadn't been to visit me since I had the whole apartment totally redone, from the cement below the "textured" plaster built back up by re-plastering, re-priming and painting. This also included totally gutting the bathrooms and the kitchen and refinishing the floors. It took several years since I was living and working here through it all. And it included a respite of about a year in the middle for a bit of R & R, peace and quiet, and time off from plaster dust.
Actually PJMGG and I went to Paris 2 years ago in January when there is a Lingerie Trade Show that I attend. in addition to one in September over Labor Day weekend. However, being an independent Sales Agent for an Italian textile company, means that I get to pay my own way for everything, no expense account. So getting myself to Europe twice a year, is not all bad, but it certainly requires, having spent a bundle on the airfare, that I take at least a week to enjoy myself somewhere in Europe. P and I decided to stay in Paris for the week.
P is from southern California. I told her that she MUST get a full length down coat because Paris in January is not at all like "April in Paris". Sometimes it is rainy and cold; often it is frigid and snowy. That year it was BEAUTIFUL, sunny and in the 50"s every day. Why on earth did she need a full length down coat, she wondered. She needed it so that when she came to visit me this year in New York, she would be warm.
So I decided to take a few days off to be a tourist. Generally, we just had a leisurely breakfast after I took Mr J (the dog) to the Park for his morning off leash run-around with his friends from 8 to 9. Just the way that one becomes friends with the parents of your kids’ friends, dog owners become friends with the owners of their dog's friends. Mr. J has 5 special friends, but the whole gang is about 12 to 15 dogs (with their owners) who gather just past the Tennis Center in Central Park in the mornings.
So PJMGG and I would have a leisurely breakfast and discuss everything important in our lives, and the lives of everyone we know and world events. That takes a while. Then we decide what to do that day and get out shortly before noon. First day was Eataly, a play on words, but a perfect name. It is a huge Italian food emporium that also incorporates 5 restaurants within. The Dorm has to visit! We bought food for later and for the dinner party that PJMGG was fixing for her friends J and J on Sunday. Next we went to Uniqlo, a Japanese manufacturer of clothing and retail stores. Only one store in the US tho, in SoHo. She bought a fleece zip-front lightweight jacket. Just happened to be the exact one I had bought the week before. We decided NOT to wear them when we are together.
The following days included lunch at Yonah Schimmel’s Knish Bakery on the Lower East Side prior to a tour of a tenement, much better than it sounds. Dinner with B, on the Upper West Side, the Fantasticks, the longest running musical in history, over 50 years, the Metropolitan Museum and a free tour, PJMGG fixing dinner for J and J, and dinner in Chinatown with JA. We got a lot done in 4 days.
PJMGG left on Tuesday and Meredith arrived on Thursday with her 20 something daughter L. L is named after my daughter L. My L is taller and older, thus, big L. Little L is working in Aspen for the winter and planning on staying there through the summer to work 2 jobs and save up for finishing college in Colorado. Not a bad plan! She could easily have a singing /acting career. One never knows.
Saturday Ruby returned to the Dorm and we were complete once more. Meredith fixed her Mushroom, Pesto Pasta that we all love, and I fixed a whatever-is-in-the-frig salad. There was wine before dinner, wine with dinner and wine after dinner, I think. Little L twirled Vanilla ice cream and Raspberry sorbet together for desert. We eat so well!
L went back to Aspen for a Valentine dinner with a friend. The dorm was joined by 2 other New Yorkers for a Valentine’s day dinner out on the Upper West Side. It was “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one(s) you’re with”, which we did. It was a great evening with great food, great wine (thanks to Ruby) and great camaraderie.
--Anna
February 15, 2011
Kitchen Choreography
Our kitchen is a marvel of function and storage. Anna designed it for maximum usage and convenience. The only thing lacking is floor space. We all seem to wind up in there together, no matter what the schedule - that's the way it is with good kitchens - and good food. Even Mr.J (dog) and Mr. F (cat) are in there with us. Mr. F likes to sit on the counter by the faucet, until someone turns it on for him to have a drink. Mr. J just likes to be in the middle. So we have developed a ballet-like dance of swoops, turns, yoga positions, and pirouettes so we all seem to move in a direction that gets us out of the way of whomever is actually trying to do something besides standing and talking, and drinking wine. Like cooking a delicious meal. Somehow it all works and no one has had any seriuos injuries so far. And dinner is always the best part.
--Ruby
--Ruby
February 13, 2011
The Igloo
2/4/11
OMG It is 11:54 pm and Claire is going to Brooklyn….to an igloo. There are igloos in Brooklyn?? Maybe in Prospect Park? This is supposed to be in someone's yard, I think. There are yards in Brooklyn. Well, It IS winter and it IS 32 degrees right now. She’d better hurry, before it melts. I’m sure it won’t melt during the night. She said that she won’t be staying in the igloo over night.. That’s good!
My experience with 20-somethings, is that going out on the weekend STARTS at 11:00pm, at the earliest.... For me, going out on the weekend usually ENDS around 11:00. When did I become part of the older generation? I think it crept up gradually. Not that I'm old.... I just don't go out at 11:00.
Anna
February 10, 2011
Bi-Coastal
Now that I am working again (hooray), I feel like I rejoined the universe as a contributing member. Meredith has given me an unbelievable opportunity to help her build her dream business. A daunting task, but we dive in and move mountains to get a line together in record time. (We are stressed, and alot of dialogue ensues- read between the lines). We agree to disagree when needed, and we move forward. More about Meredith later, my relationship with her is almost symbiotic.)
This means lots of time in NY, and a paradigm shift in how I view/live my life. I met my husband, Mr. G, after searching for my soulmate for 46!! years. We had a relatively normal life in So-Cal, with 2 of the sweetest dogs I have ever met. So it was hard to have him move away, and even harder to leave my babies. They, by the way are now having the time of their lives in WA. Off-leash is a way of life. So life goes on at a different level for all of us.
I have known Anna for years, she helped me in another life to adjust to NY for a brief period in the 90's. Now she is the reason we get to have a dorm, and a life of comradery with the 4 of us, and the dog, we'll call him Mr J, (named for his lucky run in with Anna at the Newark airport) and a cat, Mr F, named for his beautiful color, and sometimes temperament.
Claire made her debut as a Parsons student - now I have a fashion student to mentor, whether she likes it or not. It makes my day to talk to her in the evening about her classes. She is my shining star, so much a diamond in the rough, that my heart sometimes aches. I would like to help her past the tough parts, but she does not need that from me, and would not listen, anyway. Did any of us??
I am sitting now in So-Cal, with a beautiful sunset out my window, 78 degrees, packing for the trip back to NY. I cannot believe that I am so looking forward to getting back to my NY family. If anyone had told me 1 year ago that this now now my life, I would have laughed at the absurdity of it all. I am not laughing now, and I love my roomies, and am looking forward to -- who knows what, this time!
--Ruby
This means lots of time in NY, and a paradigm shift in how I view/live my life. I met my husband, Mr. G, after searching for my soulmate for 46!! years. We had a relatively normal life in So-Cal, with 2 of the sweetest dogs I have ever met. So it was hard to have him move away, and even harder to leave my babies. They, by the way are now having the time of their lives in WA. Off-leash is a way of life. So life goes on at a different level for all of us.
I have known Anna for years, she helped me in another life to adjust to NY for a brief period in the 90's. Now she is the reason we get to have a dorm, and a life of comradery with the 4 of us, and the dog, we'll call him Mr J, (named for his lucky run in with Anna at the Newark airport) and a cat, Mr F, named for his beautiful color, and sometimes temperament.
Claire made her debut as a Parsons student - now I have a fashion student to mentor, whether she likes it or not. It makes my day to talk to her in the evening about her classes. She is my shining star, so much a diamond in the rough, that my heart sometimes aches. I would like to help her past the tough parts, but she does not need that from me, and would not listen, anyway. Did any of us??
I am sitting now in So-Cal, with a beautiful sunset out my window, 78 degrees, packing for the trip back to NY. I cannot believe that I am so looking forward to getting back to my NY family. If anyone had told me 1 year ago that this now now my life, I would have laughed at the absurdity of it all. I am not laughing now, and I love my roomies, and am looking forward to -- who knows what, this time!
--Ruby
February 9, 2011
Getting into the good stuff
The name "Dorm" is really an injustice to home we have in NY. It's more like a high class sorority house without the hazing and silly rules. (I de-activated Phi Mu years ago when they wanted to charge me a penalty fee for missing Sing practice because I was working in order to stay in school.) Sororities can get rather full of themselves, but the housing is far more desirable than a dorm. And so is our place. We have a nice communal living room, dining room and kitchen.
I love to cook and offered to cook group dinners pretty quickly. Anna also offered to make meals for us. I mean, how cool is it after being a Mom for 18 years and being expected to come home from a hard day's work and cook for your family in a reasonable time, to have dinner almost on the table when you walk in the door??? Heaven! Ruby and I came in from the snow and sub zero temps last week and smelled this mouth- watering aroma as we came into the lobby of the apartment, and when we walked into our unit, shouted "Yeah! It's coming from our place!!!"
Kick off coats and boots, pour the wine after the obligatory "Can we help with anything" and drink while watching "Wheel of fortune". It's a great life! I feel almost like a guy! The only difference is we do the dishes when someone else cooks. No problem!
Dinner is a one to two hour experience, depending on how deeply we pursue the "topic du jour". Coming soon...some of the juicy topics we discuss around the dinner table under the influence of our grape "truth serum"!
--Meredith
I love to cook and offered to cook group dinners pretty quickly. Anna also offered to make meals for us. I mean, how cool is it after being a Mom for 18 years and being expected to come home from a hard day's work and cook for your family in a reasonable time, to have dinner almost on the table when you walk in the door??? Heaven! Ruby and I came in from the snow and sub zero temps last week and smelled this mouth- watering aroma as we came into the lobby of the apartment, and when we walked into our unit, shouted "Yeah! It's coming from our place!!!"
Kick off coats and boots, pour the wine after the obligatory "Can we help with anything" and drink while watching "Wheel of fortune". It's a great life! I feel almost like a guy! The only difference is we do the dishes when someone else cooks. No problem!
Dinner is a one to two hour experience, depending on how deeply we pursue the "topic du jour". Coming soon...some of the juicy topics we discuss around the dinner table under the influence of our grape "truth serum"!
--Meredith
February 8, 2011
Ruby in the AM
Here's a hint, do not post a blog late at night when spelling becomes a non issue. Sorry, I do know my grammar.
February 7, 2011
Ruby again
I am new to blogging, and I get stuck when I have real time things going on.
A colonoscopy and trying to get my life together- ultimate catharthsis!!
We moved out, and stored eveything, and moved into a condo in Garden Grove, Ca. Also known as Garbage Grove. unfair, but in the So-Cal environment, it is what it is. My new home is mutlit-cultural, and all I can say is the smells of cooking are Divine. i met my next-door neighbor, Rachel, and we became best friends. The pho is great - we are in the middle of Lttle Saigon. I settle in, with my dogs.
We walk in the park, and play in the doggy park every day. I have an office set up in one of the rooms.
George moves to WA, and begins building our "dream house", and I am alone.
Meredith needs me in NY, and I am happy to go, i have nothing here. I cannot keep teaching, becaus i am not here foe class, so i have to let that go for awhile.
So I wind up in the Dorm..
A colonoscopy and trying to get my life together- ultimate catharthsis!!
We moved out, and stored eveything, and moved into a condo in Garden Grove, Ca. Also known as Garbage Grove. unfair, but in the So-Cal environment, it is what it is. My new home is mutlit-cultural, and all I can say is the smells of cooking are Divine. i met my next-door neighbor, Rachel, and we became best friends. The pho is great - we are in the middle of Lttle Saigon. I settle in, with my dogs.
We walk in the park, and play in the doggy park every day. I have an office set up in one of the rooms.
George moves to WA, and begins building our "dream house", and I am alone.
Meredith needs me in NY, and I am happy to go, i have nothing here. I cannot keep teaching, becaus i am not here foe class, so i have to let that go for awhile.
So I wind up in the Dorm..
February 3, 2011
Meredith on Ruby
As you can tell, Ruby is a bit of a "glass-half-empty" person. She gets mad when I call her "Eyore" because she can be a little negative. She is anxiety ridden much of the time, but that's becasue she so hard on herself.
But talk about a GIGANTIC heart! Size 6 with a size 22 heart! If your'e hurting or in trouble, Ruby will not buy into your tough-girl facade. Oh no! She'll dig it out of you and not let you get away until she makes it better ( Or at least helps you get it out of your system!) I love that about her!
I had become a walking zombie before arriving at the dorm. Having lost both parents, my job, my husband losing a job, my daughter having serious physical and emotional problems that almost killed her... all in a relatively short periof of time, I couldn't cry or even react to anything. I had gone completely on Auto-pilot. But after a few months with Ruby... I'm starting to thaw and feel things again. She's a good "therapist" becasue she won't le ou hide from yourself ...and her Wine- therapy is the BEST! ( Althought not AMA approved)
All of my dorm mates have been supportive and wonderful. But Ruby is the one who forgets her own issues in a hearbeat for a friend in need, even when they don't know they need it:.
That's why no matter how much we fight about work or irritate each other I know there is no better person to have in your foxhole.
But talk about a GIGANTIC heart! Size 6 with a size 22 heart! If your'e hurting or in trouble, Ruby will not buy into your tough-girl facade. Oh no! She'll dig it out of you and not let you get away until she makes it better ( Or at least helps you get it out of your system!) I love that about her!
I had become a walking zombie before arriving at the dorm. Having lost both parents, my job, my husband losing a job, my daughter having serious physical and emotional problems that almost killed her... all in a relatively short periof of time, I couldn't cry or even react to anything. I had gone completely on Auto-pilot. But after a few months with Ruby... I'm starting to thaw and feel things again. She's a good "therapist" becasue she won't le ou hide from yourself ...and her Wine- therapy is the BEST! ( Althought not AMA approved)
All of my dorm mates have been supportive and wonderful. But Ruby is the one who forgets her own issues in a hearbeat for a friend in need, even when they don't know they need it:.
That's why no matter how much we fight about work or irritate each other I know there is no better person to have in your foxhole.
Ruby continued
okay. other things are now happening in my restarted life. I had just accepted a teaching position at FIDM.
Thanks to my friend Carlos, a teacher there, I am now teaching "The Business of Fashion". I never taught anything in my life, and have the patience of a knat. Stress ensues, of course with me, that is my natural state. This gives me another excuse. And, my husband, Mr. G. (gorgeous, great, gregarious, oh, and GIGANTIC - heart, of course), is retiring - how is this possible? We plan to build a house. We put our existing house on the market - we have at least 6 months to sell and plan our next step. Our house sells the day we put it on the market. Are you kidding?? They want a 15 day escrow. Now what? TBC.
Thanks to my friend Carlos, a teacher there, I am now teaching "The Business of Fashion". I never taught anything in my life, and have the patience of a knat. Stress ensues, of course with me, that is my natural state. This gives me another excuse. And, my husband, Mr. G. (gorgeous, great, gregarious, oh, and GIGANTIC - heart, of course), is retiring - how is this possible? We plan to build a house. We put our existing house on the market - we have at least 6 months to sell and plan our next step. Our house sells the day we put it on the market. Are you kidding?? They want a 15 day escrow. Now what? TBC.
February 2, 2011
How Ruby and I got to the Dorm
I met Anna when I moved to NY the first time over 25 years ago. I had left my job as a dept store buyer in Cleveland, Ohio and propositioned one of my vendors with promises of improving his line and get more department store business as a “merchandiser”. He knew I was good, but he also seemed to have the “hots” for me. I’m not sure which factor pushed him to make the decision to give me a shot. I was just extremely grateful that he did! (More on that subject in another chapter!)
So I left Ohio for the big city to seek my fortune and see “if I could make it there” so I’d know I could “make it anywhere”. Anna was one of the first vendors I met. She sold Italian prints and was a former Sears buyer so we spoke the same language of retail. Anna was bright and enthusiastic and so calm that NOTHING EVER threw her off her game! I loved her immediately. To this day she is one of the few friends I have who not only has never pissed me off, but has never even become mildly annoying, no matter how much time we spent together!
So after I got married and left NY for LA, Anna and I stayed in touch but whether we spoke monthly or annually, it was as if no time a passed at all. (Later, if I have a glass of wine, I’ll tell you about the time that Anna and my new husband and I went to the nude beach on Fire Island.)
Naturally when I knew I was coming to NY for a job interview, after many years in LA , then Dallas, Anna was the first person I called. It was such perfect timing that she thought she had sold her condo, and had her roommate move out, only to find out that there were technical issues involving the zoning of her unit that prevented the sale from materializing. SO SHE HAD A ROOM AVAILABLE FOR ME! At least if I had to commute from Dallas to NY to work, I had a perfect place to stay and perfect friend to stay with!
NY life begins.
I actually got the job! My almost dream job! I had always wanted to have my own apparel business. While this was not my OWN (as in “owner”) it was the next best thing. They wanted someone to create a new business and wanted someone who would “take the business and run with it”. Minimal interference or supervision. Just up my alley!
The even better part is I was able to recruit my dear friend and former work associate Ruby. We had worked together over 15 years before in another industry. She was 50 something and out of work like I had been. Sadly, we had both discovered the ugly truth that women over 50, no matter how accomplished or talented were considered unfit for the fashion business. (Everyone knows your taste goes in the toilet after 50, and even with a lifetime of analyzing trends and being in the business long enough to have more concrete information in your “gut” than 12 little Parsons graduates who have no actual business experience). So sad that they don’t realize that one bad line can cost you more in damage to your credibility than any mistake you could make. Experience dramatically increases your hit ratio. Ruby and I had been batting 300+ for awhile now, but nobody wanted to even interview us to find out what a real pro actually knows!
But I knew what a goldmine of talent and experience she was, so I decided to do exactly what the “good-ol-boys” do and start out by hiring a friend. Ruby would have to be in NY almost as much as I did so that’s how she and I got to the Dorm.
--Meredith
--Meredith
It wasn't always The Dorm
Well, it wasn’t always the dorm. But it is now. It just sort of happened. Like the financial downturn just sort of happened. Except this is much better than the down turn, and the down turn had something to do with it.
Actually for many years the Dorm was the home for me and my 2 kids. But the kids grew up and moved into their own homes. I love New York and I stayed here with my cats and dog. There were 2 extra bedrooms. One became my office and the third bedroom became the guest room for my friends who liked to visit New York City.
More recently the guest room became a room rented out to young people who were Medical students, in NYC as part of their rotation, graduate students, or recent college graduates here in the city for their first job. The renters and I shared the Living Room, Dining Room and Kitchen and we each had our own bedroom and bathroom. But that wasn’t the Dorm.
OK, so I’m and independent Sales Agent for a few Italian textile companies and I have been working out of my home for about 15 years now. Before that I had an office in midtown, in the Lingerie district on Madison Avenue in the 30’s. So once my kids moved out, I figured that I didn’t need to pay that kind of rent for an office since I had 2 empty rooms at home. Being self employed is great when the money is gushing in. It is not so great when the money trickles in.
During the leaner years, I rented out the Guest room. Then it started getting even leaner because Asia was producing some of the commodity fabrics at much lower prices. The exchange rate between the Euro and the US dollar made the dollar worth less and the fabrics I was selling, cost more. And then there was the economic downturn beginning in 2006/2007. I wasn’t quite ready to sell my great apartment, so I rented out the Guest room as a source of additional income.
Originally my nephew rented the room during Medical School while he was on rotation. Then there were a few other female friends of his from Medical School. My nephew was the only young man who was a renter. I really liked having him here, but as far as renting to strangers, it had to be women from that time on. Then there was a wonderful graduate from Northwestern who was doing her 2 year stint with Teach for America. She was a friend of my friend’s daughter. So far, all referrals.
Next came Craig’s List. I wanted to attract someone responsible, independent, relatively quiet and in their 20’s. So I advertised that a young Grandma wanted to rent a room in a big Upper West Side apartment to a student or recent graduate. I figured anyone who was willing to share an apartment with a Grandma would be the person I was looking for. Well, I am a grandma, but I am not old. I mean I’m not 30, but I’m pretty young at heart, I’m pretty easy to get along with and I’m moderately pretty. So, not the old Grandma type. It worked.
First there was the young woman from Iowa (perfect) who was taking a year off after her freshman year, to decide if she was interested in the fashion industry. She had a 9 month internship with a sportswear company. After 9 months it was back to Craig’s List. Then I found Claire. She was a graduate from the University of Tennessee, who was enrolled in a one year graduate program in Fashion Design at Parson’s. I checked out her references and everyone thought she was exceptional. They weren’t wrong.
In the meantime I had been talking to Meredith, who I have known for years, but more about that later. She had been running a division of a garment company located in Texas that had gone under. There were prospects of starting a new company under the auspices of a large corporation located in New York. She didn’t want to move her family to the New York area without knowing how this new venture would work out. So she needed a place to stay that was less expensive than renting an apartment. My guest room would be perfect. But nothing was finalized yet, and it probably would take several weeks. Claire was ready to move right in.
Sooooo, I bought a sofa bed, moved into my office, gave my room and en suite bathroom to Claire. The Guest room would be for Meredith if that worked out. If not, well, there is always Craig’s List.
Claire is great. She is tall, slim, looks like a model, has a good sense of humor and has a southern way about her. She has a wonderful way with clothes. She moved in with even more clothes and stuff than I had moved out of my room. Wasn’t she supposed to be here for only a year? It looked like it was a permanent move to me. That would be OK, we just hadn’t discussed that. We’ll see.
Merideith and I kept talking. She would come for a day or 2 while negotiations and meetings were going on. Surely this was going to work out, but what was taking so long for the final arrangements to be made? Meredith was ready and anxious to get started. A few weeks turned into months. Yeah, finally, it was going to happen. Meredith was going to move in. But it wasn’t Meredith. It was Meredith and Ruby. Well, OK, two for the price of one. But neither of them would be here full time, just both of them here part of the time. So it was sort-of one to one after all.
It was doubly (pun intended) OK because I had known Ruby almost as long as I had known Meredith. More about that too. The Guest room, as it was, could sleep 5, so there was plenty of room. The 3 of us would be sharing one bathroom. Now I’m really glad that I decided I would only rent to women.
Originally, my kids shared what is now the Guest room. When we moved in they were 2 and 3. I asked friends who had a construction company to design a room for the 2 of them. There were 2 bunk beds, joined by a drawbridge on the upper level. Each kid could draw up their half of the bridge if she/he wanted to keep the other out. Good idea. My son liked the bunk bed idea, so he slept up, and there was a built in desk beneath his bed. My daughter wanted to stay grounded, so her upper level was a play loft. Then there were book cases and chests of drawers that separated their halves of the room.
Now the 2 upper bunks are still there, one twin bed and a queen size bed where the desk had been. That adds up to 5. Meredith has the queen size bed and Ruby has the twin. Is there some significance to that? Anyway, I’m not planning on filling the other spaces, right now.
So we have 3 experienced (in every way possible) ladies and one young southern lady living together. How was this going to work? We are all pretty congenial, luckily. As far as food is concerned, Claire is a vegetarian, but we don’t hold that against her. Meredith and Ruby and I eat just about everything, and Ruby is definitely a carnivore. She needs meat. At first we sort of cooked for ourselves. Claire moved in first, so sometimes I would fix vegetarian meals, I always have, and we would share a few dinners. When Meredith and Ruby moved in, the 3 of us took turns cooking carnivorous meals and Claire would fix something veggie and we’d eat together if it worked out that we were all at home at the same time.
Meredith is a wonderful cook, we all are, really, but Meredith is special in that she can cook a full delicious dinner in 2 and a half minutes. I don’t know how she does it. She thinks fast, she works fast and she cooks fast. The rest of us are normal.
Ruby just e-mailed and asked what my definition of normal is. It depends upon the situation. In this situation, normal is human, Meredith is super-human.
--Anna
--Anna
February 1, 2011
Claire
Stiffed again. I could not wait tables any longer. The obvious solution? Move to New York City and attend fashion school. Six months after making this decision, I served my last table and began scouring through craigslist for a place to live.
Two bedroom converted. Bedroom is 7’ x 9’, no windows, but charming early century walk-up. Full-size refrigerator in the kitchen. Unfurnished. We share hallway coat closet for clothing storage.
$ too much.
Mature 29-yr-old female looking for quiet, responsible roommate. Must be away during business hours as I work from home. No late nights. No guests. No kitchen privileges. Cat-lover is a must.
$ yeah right.
FREE RENT! Male seeks female roommate for severely discounted or free rent in midtown studio. Compensated by you occasionally walking around in your underwear, no physical relationship, I just want to look.
$ rape is not rent.
$ rape is not rent.
Animal-loving widow seeks responsible roommate to occupy 12’ x 15’ upper west side bedroom. Private bathroom, windows, furniture, walk-in closet, utilities, internet + cable included. I have two lovable pets, a large dog and a cat. Pre-war doorman building 1 block from central park.
$ yes please!
Though I contacted over 100 of these postings (excluding the underwear perv), the choice was clear. Anna, the craigslist “widow”, returned my email, drilled my references, and finally called me. I had made the cut—just 10 days before I was to haul all my belongings 831 miles from the quaint southern charm of Chattanooga, Tennessee to big city bustle.
--Claire
--Claire
Ruby
Being ripped out of a job that I built, by a person that I trusted, with no warning or severance, is not my idea of fun. 35 years of work and self esteem hanging now by a thread. An elderly loving father and a devoted husband holding the pieces of me together, barely. Crawling out of the black hole of depression is another challenge - thank you Celexa. Then a call from an old friend and former colleague with a new opportunity. Was I interested?? Why not? Can I do it? Who knows? A fresh start in a new business. I'm in.
--Ruby
--Ruby
January 31, 2011
Meredith
Here we are in NYC, living in a lovely 3 bedroom upper west side apartment that my friend, Anna has had for 30+ years. 4 women ranging in age over 4 decades, from all over the country, that fate has so cleverly brought together to give us more laughter than we have had for years, more sympathetic support, and more new experiences than ever thought we could have under one roof!
Little could I have guessed a year ago when I was married and living in a suburb of Dallas, TX, that I’d be working my dream job in NYC (while my husband kept the home fires burning), and becoming the person I was meant to be!
I never had that much use for women friends when I was younger. They seemed to be focused on the wrong things (men, men, men) while I was concerned with earning myself a substantial career so I‘d never have to be dependent on a man to take me out to dinner or a Broadway show or to Paris. But somehow as we had gotten older, and had our numerous disappointments with relationships, I’ve found a stable and understanding support system among my women friends who have been through so much of life’s joy and pain. Anna and Ruby are in my age range, so we have a deep understand of each other and the individual challenges each of us has faced over the past years. The “kid” is very cool and we love her to death, but she’s at the beginning of her life and all the possibilities in the world are open to her. I think most of us hope in a subtle way to teach her how to avoid some of our mistakes. ..So over many bottles of wine we share those” faux pas” and often downright “misbehaving” with the Dorm and laugh like hell at how awful we actually were sometimes!
The nude beach on Fire Island, a first Club Med vacation, erotic dreams about Stevie Nicks…Stay tuned. Eventually it will all come out.
You may also get some of our awesome Dorm recipes! Anna, Ruby and I love to cook and love to show off our expertise to a captive and appreciative audience. The kid is coming right along, too. ( at 23 who knows how to cook?). But she blew our socks off with her Peach Cobbler recipe, so we could see she had some real promise and have been teaching her our tricks of the trade( and teaching her to cook, too! LOL). We then made her do cherry cobbler and blueberry cobbler to make sure it wasn’t just a fluke… The kid’s got skills. (See my thighs? That’s called cobbler cellulite!)
I hope that this blog (and eventual book) will inspire you to live life to the fullest, enjoy the blessing of good close friends and strive to find a few more “laugh-till- you-cry-or-pee-your-pants” moments in life!
--Meredith
--Meredith
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)