Meredith, the Optimist

Back in my sunny So Cal, I need to tell you about my friend, and, mentor.

Meredith was the employer that hired me, in what I refer to as my first "Big Girl Job".  She gave me a chance to prove my "chops" as a designer.  That entailed much more than I bargained for.  I did not have a clue.  That, I learned very fast.  I needed that job, and  was determined not to get fired.  I usually left the office in tears, and felt like the failure I was. Then I listened, and learned...alot.

Business is not design school, and anyone who thinks they can sit in an ivory tower and make gorgeous designs, should choose another career
..
Fast forward 2 years, and I was her  protegy.  Fast forward  6 months, and we were both out of a job.  Company closed.  Nice.  She made a deal with the company that bought the label, and we had jobs again!!  Thank you, thank you, Meredith, the ultimate business woman.

We went our separate ways, staying in touch, and became friends. (much, much, more on this later).

Stuff happened, and  fast forward 20@#&#@ years, and here we are again.  Meredith has given me a new start in a business that chews you up and spits you out.  She does not know the meaning of fail, and that  drive and optimism is why success is the only option for  her.  It is not an easy road; not everyone understands what it takes.  There is no doubt in my mind that Meredith will prevail.  It is her faith and belief in herself and those she chooses to work with that will ensure that!!  Yea, that I am 1 of the chosen.  Onward and upward
. 
What a great journey.

none of us are normal

So obviously you can see what we're dealing with in Claire. We love her dearly, and in our own way will help her deal with her eccentricities. None of us are normal, so why does she think she's so special???  Because  she hasn't figured that out yet.  That's all!
Anna will not eat two different meats in one dish.
Ruby considers herself a "dog whisperer" and goes into a deep depression if she meets an animal that doesn't instantly bond with her.  Last night we watched a  movie in which the good guy was kidnapped and being tortured by having rats all over him eating his body. Ruby was most worried about what the cops would do to the rats when they found them munching away .
I am way too close to my weirdness to even be able to identify all of it, but I'm sure it's there. Don't even have to give it a name!
I guess if you can realize that none of us are "normal" ,( nor would we WANT to be), we can come one step closer to the ever elusive self-acceptance and even self-love.
I'm convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that this dorm is extremely loveable,  and special ,each and every one!
But "normal" we are not! ( and proud of it!)

Playing with Food

We sat down for a twist on our usual "dorm dinner" the other night.  Anna had pleasantly laid out an array of Mediterranean hors'dourves to lure us to the always delicious table.  The menu boasted tzatziki, pita chips, hummus, some chicken/bean stuff, fresh strawberries, and a delicious salad.  As I elevated one more pita chip smothered in tzatziki to my mouth, one of the roomies blurted out, "I'm so proud of you for eating all this! Look, you guys, she LIKES it!"


In my mind, I'm one of the least picky eaters ever.  My taste limitations only exclude three things: olives, green pepper, cashews.  Seriously. That's it.  Unfortunately, only I will ever believe this statement.


The dorm has grown accustomed to my 'preferences'.  (1) I've been lactose intolerant my entire life.  It's pretty much miserable because I suffer from an addiction to cheese and ice cream.  So no dairy for me without my trusty lactase enzyme pills.  (2) Two-point-five years ago, I chose to adopt a vegetarian diet, suffering a touch of PTSD from academic research on factory farming, a past roommate's bout with food poisoning (from chicken), and the horrendous ozone layer of our suffocating planet.  (3) Since high school, most of my stress has led to psychosomatic symptoms in the form of headaches and stomach issues.  Luckily, though I still fail to manage my stress levels, I do know what foods make this condition worse or better at the time of infliction.  (4) I hate hate hate germs, especially on my food.  I won't eat something that has touched my {or anyone else's} fingers, dirty silverware, or potentially contaminated surfaces.


Sure, I'm a little neurotic, particular, and stubborn, but I really do LOVE food and so a 'picky eater', I consider myself not.  I will taste most things once, and most things I taste I like.  My poor deprived tastebuds have just been assigned to the wrong tongue--in a body that doesn't agree with their flavorful preferences.


--Claire

Feeding the soul

I've had 4 good years of marriage.  The bad news is, I've been married 25 years. So the Dorm get-away is like a breath of fresh air  for me! Lots of laughs and people who work hard, play hard and actually take their eyes off the TV when they talk to you.
So I'm making the most of it!
Stuff you can't do at home...listen to opera at 8AM instead of watching Mike & Mike discuss sports on the boob tube (like at home in Dallas) . I tried something different this morning...I put on Pavarotti to listen to while we put on our make up and slowly woke up to face the world. It was so ethereal and beautiful that neither Ruby nor I wanted to leave for work!
But the echoes of the majestic music stayed with us as we waked to the subway and throughout the day...
And when we were figuring out later, what we wanted to cook for dinner, we were still sufficiently in the euphoria to decide that we deserved to go out for a lovely dinner (even though we were all but broke). 
I digress for a moment to explain "broke". Ruby and lost our jobs when our respective companies closed. It's tough for anyone over 40 to get a new job in the apparel business and both of us saw 40 in the rear view mirror. At least her husband was a hard working college professor, close to retirement. My spouse lost his job 2 years ago and has not been able to find anything appropriate to his talents since them. so by the time I lost mine, we had gone through most of our savings and 401K. After a few months I was able to put together a proposal for a new apparel division for a company in NY and pulled Ruby along with me to design.  I also gave my husband a sales job in Texas, so while we had a lot of losses to make up, at least we had an opportunity to get back on our feet.
So, as we were saying...we deserved to go out for a lovely dinner...
Ahhh!!!!   Nothing takes away the stench of poverty like the fragrant aroma of French cuisine at the Un ,Deux, Trois Cafe... We used to frequent that place when we travelled to NY on business and had the almighty expense account as our companion.
For a brief evening, we felt like the successful business women we were!
Our souls were well fed today and I'm confident it will make for a better day tomorrow!
Who knew how much my life was about to change!

Doggy Dilemma

My husband is the caretaker of our 2 beautiful boxers while I work in New York.  They are more happy with that arrangement then I am.
However, Mr. G is handling an unfortunate problem that has "popped up" with our male, Mr. D.   His manliness has been showing itself lately, and seems unwilling to hide.  We have taken him to the vet on several occasions.  The vet has done research on the problem, which is fairly rare, apparently, and has come to the conclusion that as long as it goes back into hiding eventually, there is nothing to be done.  A more drastic approach involves surgery - no way!!
So when this happens, M. G has to sit with Mr. D.,  armed with KY jelly, to achieve the turtle effect  through massage.  He is worried that some neighbor will see him, misinterpret the interaction, and call the ASPCA.
So, in empathy, I ask any of you if you have any insight on this particular issue - we would love some other input.
Meanwhile, Mr. G, keep the drapes closed!

The wrong keys

Yes, it truly is no fun running out of the apartment after 1:00 am with the wrong keys.  Once upon a time, a long time ago, even before cell phones, I took one of my former dogs out for his late night walk, a bit later than usual, around 1:30.  It wasn’t until I got back to the outer door, that I realized that I had my car keys, no wallet and not even a quarter in my pocket. It was midweek.  I went outside and checked to see which apartments had lights on so I could get someone to buzz me in. Now it was a little after 2:00.  All the lights were out.  All I had was my dog and my car keys.

Well I had one safe haven left to me, my car.  Luckily the remote to the building’s garage was with my car keys.  I got in, walked down to the sub basement level of the garage imagining that the murderer/rapist was hiding somewhere waiting for an unsuspecting woman to walk in alone.  I made it to my car, jumped in with my dog, locked the doors and put the car seat back as far as it would go.  That way the murderer/rapist would not be able to see me in my car.

Luckily, my best talent is that I can sleep, no matter where, no matter what.  I shut my eyes.  The next minute the clock said 7:30.  I joyfully walked back up the back up the ramps, thankful that I had survived, and hoping the doorman wouldn’t see me coming out of the garage.  He didn’t.  He just said “early walk?” as we rushed past him.

So I totally understood Claire’s situation.  I was just sorry that she didn’t have a garage she could have gone to.

The Roommate That Never Sleeps

That's me.  I sleep, but only when half of the world is already awake, and this fascinates the dorm--especially Anna (see the igloo).  You see, NY nightcrawlers don't make it out until about 11:30pm, so I have properly adjusted my sleeping schedule.  Last night was one of the most unfortunate of my late-night experiences.


Heading out at 11:45pm, Ruby reminded me to grab my keys as I rushed out the door.  Good thing! I thought, it sure would stink to be locked out with no doorman!


I met my friend from college out in Murray Hill for a couple drinks, but my presumed 1 hour excursion too-quickly turned into 4.  Hating myself on the train ride back to the Upper West, I double-checked my purse to see that I had my essentials--smartphone, ipod, keys.  Yep, all there.  Except the keys I had were for my home in Tennessee.  Being post-2am, I knew doorman would be off-duty and entrance to my apartment building would be locked.  I started to panic and texted/called everyone I knew who might possibly allow me to crash their couch for the night.  I considered a hotel on the corner and a hostel uptown.  Nothing.  I got into my apartment's foyer and knocked like crazy, no longer caring who would be awakened.  Nothing.  I turned on my phone to call Anna's cell only to have it flash the dead battery sign and shut itself off.  I slumped down in the corner in my dress, heels, and sweater, turned High School Musical on my iPod, and proceeded to nap until the next doorman would arrive for his shift (6am--it was only 4:15am at this point).  


Around 5am, I was startled by both the front and foyer doors opening and I begged to be let inside.  Looking like a hungover homeless wild child (though I was NONE of these things), he questioned if I even lived here and reluctantly opened the door.  I rang the doorbell to the dorm for about 2 minutes before Anna sleepily staggered to the locked door and graciously welcomed me home, no questions asked, and even relating a quick statement that she had been locked out before.  The city is scary when you have no keys, no phone, and no daylight.  This will be a last for me.


--Claire

My Three Moms

My friends are jealous of me--and it's not because i have a hot boyfriend (which i do...), or that i'm in fashion school, or that i have 24/7 access to the best shopping/entertainment/celebrity sightings in the country.  It's because I live with Anna, Meredith, and Ruby.


When asked where I live, I excitedly inform new acquaintances of the three wonderful ladies in the dorm.  They wonder how I could have anything in common with three women older than my parents.  How could I participate in NYC nightlife?  How could I ever have guests over?  What do we talk about?  Do I have to censor my language, outfits, and music/movie choices?  I must hide in my huge room all the time.


Well, truth is, this is ideal for me.  Sure, I have some mommy issues--leaving my best friend, caregiver, and over-indulger (in all the best ways!)  back home--so maybe these three are stand-ins?  In a way.  Meredith, Anna, and Ruby cook delicious meals and generously share them with me.  They make sure I'm safe when I'm going out or coming in.  They have taken care of me when I came down with a cold.  And they teach me how to be more independent, optimistic, and--most importantly--a better cook!


There are a few key differences though, from my biological parents. 
(1)  I can drop some choice words [when necessary] without having my mouth washed out with soap.
(2)  We have girl talk with a level of openness that could ruin a daughter's perception of her mother and vice versa.
(3)  We go through wine unashamedly.


So when asked if living here is like the restraint of living with parents post-adolescence, I quickly retort, and the questioner eagerly decides that they want in.  I spend as much time as I can with my roomies, feasting on life-lessons and enjoying witty banter, heart-to-hearts, and social commentary.  There's a lot to be said for living drama-free, and that is only guaranteed if there's no chance of friend/boyfriend/job/school infringement, as insured by our adequate age gap.  I can't imagine a better place for transitioning into adulthood.


--Claire

Friday night and the girls go wild!

So can you remember liking your job so much that it ticked you off when the office closed early or was closed for some lame holiday? Well Ruby and I are there. We were forced out of the office by 4 and were like lost souls without our lifeboat. After all, 4 seemed a bit early to start drinking. By the time we moseyed our asses home it was almost a respectable 5 pm and I received a few welcome business calls (Thank GOD some part of the world had not gone MAD!) 
Soon Ruby and I had our evening (first)glass of wine, and realizing Wheel of Fortune was not on for another 2 1/2 hours, went around the corner to our favorite Mexican restaurant with Clair and then watched a movie we had downloaded. It was a 1977 classic called "Chatterbox" OMG- In case you have lived under a rock for the past 34 years, you know its about a woman who discovers that her vagina can talk! This ornery little pussy embarrasses the crap out of it's owner, so she finally goes to a doctor to see if he can resolve her problem. Instead of seeking a cure, he convinces Penelope that her alter ego, now named Virginia ( how fitting...) knows her better than she knows herself and is probably the eighth wonder of the world!  He presents Penelope and Virginia to an AMA convention to a standing ovation and  rave reviews. And a star was born...!  The premise is actually more amusing than the movie itself, but it was a great break for us.
After that excitement subsided, Ruby and I took Mr. J dog to Central Park for his evening run. Dogs are allowed off leash after 9 pm and it's like the "teddy Bear's picnic".  When everyone else gets  OUT of the park by dark, the doggies and owners come out and play like crazy. The typical dog crowd is 6-10 owners and probably a few more dogs. The dogs romp and play and run and fight , while the owners share conversation and perhaps a beer.
Ruby took our Dorm's white dog to central park for his 9PM romp a few weeks ago in a snowstorm. Just so you  know, Ruby is almost blind without her contacts, but after a few glasses of wine, she must have thought she could see better, and bravely strode out with Mr. J. Unfortunately, when she got to the park and let him off leash we had the perfect storm brewing: white dog in a snowstorm, led by an almost blind, extremely relaxed and happy lady who can get easily confused. Needless to say, she "lost" Mr. G and when he finally found HER, she was hopelessly lost on the EAST side of the park (and  we live on the west side). We laugh about it now, but at the time she was really pissed!
Friday night at the dorm...you never know what to expect...I'm going to go contemplate my vagina and and see if she talks back! G'night!

--Meredith

Goings and Comings

Meredith and Ruby left on January 28, not to return again until Feb 10 and 12.  Claire and I are at opposite ends of the apartment, my room /office is next the room where Ruby and Meredith stay, Claire's room is closest to the front door.  Since "Nature abhors a vacuum", I figured that I should have my high school friend PJMGGW come to visit.  W is her married name.

PJMGGW hadn't been to visit me since I had the whole apartment totally redone, from the cement below the "textured" plaster built back up by re-plastering, re-priming and painting.  This also included totally gutting the bathrooms and the kitchen and refinishing the floors.  It took several years since I was living and working here through it all.  And it included a respite of about a year in the middle for a bit of R & R, peace and quiet, and time off from plaster dust.


Actually PJMGG and I went to Paris 2 years ago in January when there is a Lingerie Trade Show that I attend. in addition to one in September over Labor Day weekend. However, being an independent Sales Agent for an Italian textile company, means that I get to pay my own way for everything, no expense account.  So getting myself to Europe twice a year, is not all bad, but it certainly requires, having spent a bundle on the airfare, that I take at least a week to enjoy myself somewhere in Europe.  P and I decided to stay in Paris for the week.


P is from southern California.  I told her that she MUST get a full length down coat because Paris in January is not at all like "April in Paris".  Sometimes it is rainy and cold; often it is frigid and snowy.  That year it was BEAUTIFUL, sunny and in the 50"s every day.  Why on earth did she need a full length down coat, she wondered.  She needed it so that when she came to visit me this year in New York, she would be warm.


So I decided to take a few days off to be a tourist.  Generally, we just had a leisurely breakfast after I took Mr J (the dog) to the Park for his morning off leash run-around with his friends from 8 to 9.  Just the way that one becomes friends with the parents of your kids’ friends, dog owners become friends with the owners of their dog's friends.  Mr. J has 5 special friends, but the whole gang is about 12 to 15 dogs (with their owners) who gather just past the Tennis Center in Central Park in the mornings. 


So PJMGG and I would have a leisurely breakfast and discuss everything important in our lives, and the lives of everyone we know and world events.  That takes a while.  Then we decide what to do that day and get out shortly before noon.  First day was Eataly, a play on words, but a perfect name.  It is a huge Italian food emporium that also incorporates 5 restaurants within.  The Dorm has to visit!  We bought food for later and for the dinner party that PJMGG was fixing for her friends J and J on Sunday.  Next we went to Uniqlo, a Japanese manufacturer of clothing and retail stores.  Only one store in the US tho, in SoHo.  She bought a fleece zip-front lightweight jacket.  Just happened to be the exact one I had bought the week before.  We decided NOT to wear them when we are together. 


The following days included lunch at Yonah Schimmel’s Knish Bakery on the Lower East Side prior to a tour of a tenement, much better than it sounds.  Dinner with B, on the Upper West Side, the Fantasticks, the longest running musical in history, over 50 years, the Metropolitan Museum and a free tour, PJMGG fixing dinner for J and J, and dinner in Chinatown with JA.  We got a lot done in 4 days. 


PJMGG left on Tuesday and Meredith arrived on Thursday with her 20 something daughter L.  L is named after my daughter L.   My L is taller and older, thus, big L.  Little L is working in Aspen for the winter and planning on staying there through the summer to work 2 jobs and save up for finishing college in Colorado.  Not a bad plan!  She could easily have a singing /acting career.  One never knows.


Saturday Ruby returned to the Dorm and we were complete once more.  Meredith fixed her Mushroom, Pesto Pasta that we all love, and I fixed a whatever-is-in-the-frig salad.  There was wine before dinner, wine with dinner and wine after dinner, I think.  Little L twirled Vanilla ice cream and Raspberry sorbet together for desert.  We eat so well!


L went back to Aspen for a Valentine dinner with a friend.  The dorm was joined by 2 other New Yorkers for a Valentine’s day dinner out on the Upper West Side.  It was “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one(s) you’re with”, which we did.  It was a great evening with great food, great wine (thanks to Ruby) and great camaraderie.

--Anna

Kitchen Choreography

Our kitchen is a marvel of function and storage.  Anna designed it for maximum usage and convenience.  The only thing lacking is floor space.  We all seem to wind up in there together, no matter what the schedule - that's the way it is with good kitchens - and good food.  Even Mr.J (dog) and Mr. F (cat) are in there with us.  Mr. F likes to sit on the counter by the faucet, until someone turns it on for him to have a drink.  Mr. J just likes to be in the middle.  So we have developed a ballet-like dance of swoops, turns, yoga positions, and pirouettes so we all seem to move in a direction that gets us out of the way of whomever is actually trying to do something besides standing and talking, and drinking  wine.  Like cooking a delicious meal.  Somehow it all works and no one has had any seriuos injuries so far.  And dinner is always the best part.

--Ruby

The Igloo

2/4/11

OMG   It is 11:54 pm and Claire is going to Brooklyn….to an igloo.  There are igloos in Brooklyn?? Maybe in Prospect Park?  This is supposed to be in someone's yard, I think.  There are yards in Brooklyn.  Well, It IS winter and it IS 32 degrees right now.  She’d better hurry, before it melts.  I’m sure it won’t melt during the night.  She said that she won’t be staying in the igloo over night..  That’s good!

My experience with 20-somethings, is that going out on the weekend STARTS at 11:00pm, at the earliest....  For me, going out on the weekend usually ENDS around 11:00.  When did I become part of the older generation?  I think it crept up gradually.  Not that I'm old....  I just don't go out at 11:00.

Anna

Bi-Coastal

Now that I am working again (hooray), I feel like I rejoined the universe as a contributing member.  Meredith has given me an unbelievable opportunity to help her build her dream business.  A daunting task, but we dive in and move mountains to get a line together in record time.  (We are stressed, and alot of dialogue ensues- read between the lines).  We agree to disagree when needed, and we move forward.  More about Meredith later, my relationship with her is almost symbiotic.)

This means lots of time in NY, and a paradigm shift in how I view/live my life.  I met my husband, Mr. G, after searching for my soulmate for 46!! years.  We had a relatively normal life in So-Cal, with 2 of the sweetest dogs I have ever met.  So it was hard to have him move away, and even harder to leave my babies.  They, by the way are now having the time of their lives in WA.  Off-leash is a way of life.  So life goes on at a different level for all of us.

I have known Anna for years, she helped me in another life to adjust to NY for a brief period in the 90's.  Now she is the reason we get to have a dorm, and a life of comradery with the 4 of us, and the dog, we'll call him Mr J, (named for his lucky run in with Anna at the Newark airport)  and a cat, Mr F, named for his beautiful color, and sometimes temperament. 

Claire made her debut as a Parsons student - now I have a fashion student to mentor, whether she likes it or not. It makes my day to talk to her in the evening about her classes.  She is my shining star, so much a diamond in the rough, that my heart sometimes aches.  I would like to help her past the tough parts, but she does not need that from me, and would not listen, anyway.  Did any of us??

I am sitting now in So-Cal, with a beautiful sunset out my window, 78 degrees, packing for the trip back to NY.  I cannot believe that I am so looking forward to getting back to my NY family.  If anyone had told me 1 year ago that this now now my life, I would have laughed at the absurdity of it all.  I am not laughing now, and I love my roomies, and am looking forward to -- who knows what, this time!

--Ruby

Getting into the good stuff

The name "Dorm" is really an injustice to home we have in NY. It's more like a high class sorority house without the hazing and silly rules. (I de-activated Phi Mu years ago when they wanted to charge me a penalty fee for missing Sing practice because I was working in order to stay in school.) Sororities can get rather full of themselves, but the housing is far more desirable than a dorm. And so is our place. We have a nice communal living room, dining room and kitchen.
I love to cook and offered to cook group dinners pretty quickly. Anna also offered to make meals for us. I mean, how cool is it after being a Mom for 18 years and being expected to come home from a hard day's work and cook for your family in a reasonable time, to have dinner almost on the table when you walk in the door??? Heaven! Ruby and I came in from the snow and sub zero temps last week and smelled this mouth- watering aroma as we came into the lobby of the apartment, and when we walked into our unit, shouted "Yeah! It's coming from our place!!!"
Kick off coats and boots, pour the wine after the obligatory "Can we help with anything" and drink while watching "Wheel of fortune". It's a great life! I feel almost like a guy! The only difference is we do the dishes when someone else cooks. No problem!
Dinner is a one to two hour experience, depending on how deeply we pursue the "topic du jour". Coming soon...some of the juicy topics we discuss around the dinner table under the influence of our grape "truth serum"!


--Meredith

Ruby in the AM

Here's a hint, do not post a blog late at night when spelling becomes a non issue.  Sorry, I do know my grammar.

Ruby again

I am new to blogging, and I get stuck when I have real time things going on.
A colonoscopy and trying to get my life together- ultimate catharthsis!!
We moved out, and stored eveything, and moved into a condo in Garden Grove, Ca.  Also known as Garbage Grove.  unfair, but in the So-Cal environment, it is what it is.  My new home is mutlit-cultural, and all I can say is the smells of cooking are Divine.  i met my next-door neighbor, Rachel,  and we became best friends.  The pho is great - we are in the middle of Lttle Saigon. I settle in, with my dogs.
We walk in the park, and play in the doggy park every day.  I have an office set up in one of the rooms.
George moves to WA, and begins building our "dream house", and I am alone.
Meredith needs me in NY, and I am happy to go, i have nothing here.  I cannot keep teaching, becaus i am not here foe class, so i have to let that go for awhile.
So I wind up in the Dorm..

Meredith on Ruby

As you can tell, Ruby is a bit of a "glass-half-empty" person. She gets mad when I call her "Eyore" because she can be a little negative. She is anxiety ridden much of the time, but that's becasue she so hard on herself.
But talk about a GIGANTIC heart! Size 6 with a size 22 heart! If your'e hurting or in trouble, Ruby will not buy into your tough-girl facade. Oh no! She'll dig it out of you and not let you get away until she makes it better ( Or at least helps you get it out of your system!) I love that about her!
I had become a walking zombie before arriving at the dorm. Having lost both parents, my job, my husband losing a job, my daughter having serious physical and emotional problems that almost killed her... all in a relatively short periof of time, I couldn't cry or even react to anything. I had gone completely on Auto-pilot. But after a few months with Ruby...  I'm starting to thaw and feel things again. She's a good "therapist" becasue she won't le ou hide from  yourself ...and her Wine- therapy is the BEST! ( Althought not AMA approved) 
All of my dorm mates have been supportive and wonderful. But Ruby is the one who forgets her own issues in a hearbeat for a friend in need, even when they don't know they need it:.
That's why no matter how much we fight about work or irritate each other I know there is no better person to have in your foxhole.

Ruby continued

okay.  other things are now happening in my restarted life.  I had just accepted a teaching position at FIDM.
Thanks to my friend Carlos, a teacher there, I am now teaching "The Business of Fashion".  I never taught anything in my life, and have the patience of a knat.  Stress ensues, of course with me, that is my natural state.  This gives me another excuse.  And, my husband, Mr. G. (gorgeous, great, gregarious, oh, and GIGANTIC - heart, of course), is retiring - how is this possible?  We plan to build a house.  We put our existing house on the market - we have at least 6 months to sell and plan our next step.  Our house sells the day we put it on the market.  Are you kidding?? They want a  15 day escrow.  Now what? TBC.

How Ruby and I got to the Dorm

I met Anna when I moved to NY the first time over 25 years ago. I had left my job as a dept store buyer in Cleveland, Ohio and propositioned one of my vendors with promises of improving his line and get more department store business as a “merchandiser”.  He knew I was good, but he also seemed to have the “hots” for me.  I’m not sure which factor pushed him to make the decision to give me a shot.  I was just extremely grateful that he did! (More on that subject in another chapter!)

So I left Ohio for the big city to seek my fortune and see “if I could make it there” so I’d know I could “make it anywhere”. Anna was one of the first vendors I met.  She sold Italian prints and was a former Sears buyer so we spoke the same language of retail.  Anna was bright and enthusiastic and so calm that NOTHING EVER threw her off her game!  I loved her immediately. To this day she is one of the few friends I have who not only has never pissed me off, but has never even become mildly annoying, no matter how much time we spent together! 

So after I got married and left NY for LA, Anna and I stayed in touch but whether we spoke monthly or annually, it was as if no time a passed at all. (Later, if I have a glass of wine, I’ll tell you about the time that Anna and my new husband and I went to the nude beach on Fire Island.)

Naturally when I knew I was coming to NY for a job interview, after many years in LA , then Dallas, Anna was the first person I called. It was such perfect timing that  she thought she had sold her condo, and had her roommate move out, only to find out that there were technical issues involving the zoning of her unit that prevented the sale from materializing. SO SHE HAD A ROOM AVAILABLE FOR ME!  At least if I had to commute from Dallas to NY to work, I had a perfect place to stay and perfect friend to stay with!

 NY life begins.

I actually got the job! My almost dream job! I had always wanted to have my own apparel business. While this was not my OWN (as in “owner”) it was the next best thing. They wanted someone to create a new business and wanted someone who would “take the business and run with it”. Minimal interference or supervision. Just up my alley!

The even better part is I was able to recruit my dear friend and former work associate Ruby. We had worked together over 15 years before in another industry. She was 50 something and out of work like I had been.  Sadly, we had both discovered the ugly truth that women over 50, no matter how accomplished or talented were considered unfit for the fashion business.  (Everyone knows your taste goes in the toilet after 50, and even with a lifetime of analyzing trends and being in the business long enough to have more concrete information in your “gut” than 12 little Parsons graduates who have no actual business experience).  So sad that they don’t realize that one bad line can cost you more in damage to your credibility than any mistake you could make. Experience dramatically increases your hit ratio. Ruby and I had been batting  300+ for awhile now, but nobody wanted to even interview us to find out what a real pro actually knows!

But I knew what a goldmine of talent and experience she was, so I decided to do exactly what the “good-ol-boys” do and start out by hiring a friend.  Ruby would have to be in NY almost as much as I did so that’s how she and I got to the Dorm.


--Meredith

It wasn't always The Dorm

Well, it wasn’t always the dorm.  But it is now.  It just sort of happened.  Like the financial downturn just sort of happened.  Except this is much better than the down turn, and the down turn had something to do with it.

Actually for many years the Dorm was the home for me and my 2 kids.   But the kids grew up and moved into their own homes.  I love New York and I stayed here with my cats and dog.  There were 2 extra bedrooms.  One became my office and the third bedroom became the guest room for my friends who liked to visit New York City.

More recently the guest room became a room rented out to young people who were Medical students, in NYC as part of their rotation, graduate students, or recent college graduates here in the city for their first job.  The renters and I shared the Living Room, Dining Room and Kitchen and we each had our own bedroom and bathroom.  But that wasn’t the Dorm.

OK, so I’m and independent Sales Agent for a few Italian textile companies and I have been working out of my home for about 15 years now.  Before that I had an office in midtown, in the Lingerie district on Madison Avenue in the 30’s.  So once my kids moved out, I figured that I didn’t need to pay that kind of rent for an office since I had 2 empty rooms at home.  Being self employed is great when the money is gushing in.  It is not so great when the money trickles in.

During the leaner years, I rented out the Guest room.  Then it started getting even leaner because Asia was producing some of the commodity fabrics at much lower prices.  The exchange rate between the Euro and the US dollar made the dollar worth less and the fabrics I was selling, cost more.  And then there was the economic downturn beginning in 2006/2007.  I wasn’t quite ready to sell my great apartment, so I rented out the Guest room as a source of additional income. 

Originally my nephew rented the room during Medical School while he was on rotation.  Then there were a few other female friends of his from Medical School.  My nephew was the only young man who was a renter.  I really liked having him here, but as far as renting to strangers, it had to be women from that time on.  Then there was a wonderful graduate from Northwestern who was doing her 2 year stint with Teach for America. She was a friend of my friend’s daughter.  So far, all referrals. 

Next came Craig’s List.  I wanted to attract someone responsible, independent, relatively quiet and in their 20’s.  So I advertised that a young Grandma wanted to rent a room in a big Upper West Side apartment to a student or recent graduate.  I figured anyone who was willing to share an apartment with a Grandma would be the person I was looking for.  Well, I am a grandma, but I am not old.  I mean I’m not 30, but I’m pretty young at heart, I’m pretty easy to get along with and I’m moderately pretty.  So, not the old Grandma type.  It worked. 

First there was the young woman from Iowa (perfect) who was taking a year off after her freshman year, to decide if she was interested in the fashion industry.  She had a 9 month internship with a sportswear company.  After 9 months it was back to Craig’s List.  Then I found Claire.  She was a graduate from the University of Tennessee, who was enrolled in a one year graduate program in Fashion Design at Parson’s.  I checked out her references and everyone thought she was exceptional.  They weren’t wrong.

In the meantime I had been talking to Meredith, who I have known for years, but more about that later.  She had been running a division of a garment company located in Texas that had gone under.  There were prospects of starting a new company under the auspices of a large corporation located in New York.  She didn’t want to move her family to the New York area without knowing how this new venture would work out.  So she needed a place to stay that was less expensive than renting an apartment.  My guest room would be perfect.  But nothing was finalized yet, and it probably would take several weeks.  Claire was ready to move right in.

Sooooo, I bought a sofa bed, moved into my office, gave my room and en suite bathroom to Claire.  The Guest room would be for Meredith if that worked out.  If not, well, there is always Craig’s List.

Claire is great.  She is tall, slim, looks like a model, has a good sense of humor and has a southern way about her.  She has a wonderful way with clothes.  She moved in with even more clothes and stuff than I had moved out of my room.  Wasn’t she supposed to be here for only a year?  It looked like it was a permanent move to me.  That would be OK, we just hadn’t discussed that.  We’ll see.

Merideith and I kept talking.  She would come for a day or 2 while negotiations and meetings were going on.  Surely this was going to work out, but what was taking so long for the final arrangements to be made?  Meredith was ready and anxious to get started.  A few weeks turned into months.  Yeah, finally, it was going to happen.  Meredith was going to move in.  But it wasn’t Meredith.  It was Meredith and Ruby.  Well, OK, two for the price of one.  But neither of them would be here full time, just both of them here part of the time.  So it was sort-of one to one after all.

It was doubly (pun intended) OK because I had known Ruby almost as long as I had known Meredith.  More about that too.  The Guest room, as it was, could sleep 5, so there was plenty of room.  The 3 of us would be sharing one bathroom.  Now I’m really glad that I decided I would only rent to women.

Originally, my kids shared what is now the Guest room.  When we moved in they were 2 and 3.  I asked friends who had a construction company to design a room for the 2 of them.  There were 2 bunk beds, joined by a drawbridge on the upper level.  Each kid could draw up their half of the bridge if she/he wanted to keep the other out.  Good idea.  My son liked the bunk bed idea, so he slept up, and there was a built in desk beneath his bed.  My daughter wanted to stay grounded, so her upper level was a play loft.  Then there were book cases and chests of drawers that separated their halves of the room.

Now the 2 upper bunks are still there, one twin bed and a queen size bed where the desk had been.  That adds up to 5.  Meredith has the queen size bed and Ruby has the twin.  Is there some significance to that?  Anyway, I’m not planning on filling the other spaces, right now.

So we have 3 experienced (in every way possible) ladies and one young southern lady living together.  How was this going to work?  We are all pretty congenial, luckily.  As far as food is concerned, Claire is a vegetarian, but we don’t hold that against her.  Meredith and Ruby and I eat just about everything, and Ruby is definitely a carnivore.  She needs meat.  At first we sort of cooked for ourselves.  Claire moved in first, so sometimes I would fix vegetarian meals, I always have, and we would share a few dinners.  When Meredith and Ruby moved in, the 3 of us took turns cooking carnivorous meals and Claire would fix something veggie and we’d eat together if it worked out that we were all at home at the same time.

Meredith is a wonderful cook, we all are, really, but Meredith is special in that she can cook a full delicious dinner in 2 and a half minutes.  I don’t know how she does it.  She thinks fast, she works fast and she cooks fast.  The rest of us are normal.

Ruby just e-mailed and asked what my definition of normal is.  It depends upon the situation.  In this situation, normal is human, Meredith is super-human.


--Anna

Claire

Stiffed again.  I could not wait tables any longer.  The obvious solution? Move to New York City and attend fashion school.  Six months after making this decision, I served my last table and began scouring through craigslist for a place to live.

Two bedroom converted. Bedroom is 7’ x  9’, no windows, but charming early century walk-up.  Full-size refrigerator in the kitchen. Unfurnished. We share hallway coat closet for clothing storage.

$ too much.

Mature 29-yr-old female looking for quiet, responsible roommate.  Must be away during business hours as I work from home.  No late nights.  No guests.  No kitchen privileges. Cat-lover is a must.

$ yeah right.

FREE RENT! Male seeks female roommate for severely discounted or free rent in midtown studio.  Compensated by you occasionally walking around in your underwear, no physical relationship, I just want to look. 
$ rape is not rent.

Animal-loving widow seeks responsible roommate to occupy 12’ x 15’ upper west side bedroom.  Private bathroom, windows, furniture, walk-in closet, utilities, internet + cable included.  I have two lovable pets, a large dog and a cat.  Pre-war doorman building 1 block from central park. 

$ yes please!

Though I contacted over 100 of these postings (excluding the underwear perv), the choice was clear.  Anna, the craigslist “widow”, returned my email, drilled my references, and finally called me.  I had made the cut—just 10 days before I was to haul all my belongings 831 miles from the quaint southern charm of Chattanooga, Tennessee to big city bustle.


--Claire

Ruby

Being ripped out of a job that I built, by a person that I trusted, with no warning or severance, is not my idea of fun.  35 years of work and self esteem hanging now by a thread.  An elderly loving father and a devoted husband holding the pieces of me together, barely.  Crawling out of the black hole of depression is another challenge - thank you Celexa.  Then a call from an old friend and former colleague with a new opportunity.  Was I interested??  Why not?  Can I do it?  Who knows?  A fresh start in a new business.  I'm in.

--Ruby